Comments on: An Awful Freudian Slip on Cerberus

By: Contributor X

Contributor X — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 05:11:51 +0000

You can buy a 60-80 pound goat for $70. Not bad.

Link: http://www.ams.usda.gov/mnreports/RA_LS550.txt

By: vdogg

vdogg — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 21:58:06 +0000

Josh,
I hear Vayner Capital Management is hiring. I think you’d be a great fit for them. Good luck!

By: Paul Owen

Paul Owen — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 23:08:17 +0000

They serve them at Dorcia, you stupid F ing bastard!

By: PBateman

PBateman — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 22:31:29 +0000

How much would it cost for one to get a sacrificial goat?

By: Josh

Josh — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 21:35:31 +0000

I’ve just received an offer from Sub Oosa! Thanks Mr. Juggles!

By: Mr Juggles

Mr Juggles — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 21:23:51 +0000

A little goat killing never hurt anyone; where would Carthage be if only they killed a few more goats? Probably doing better than whatever is going on in Tunisia today.

By: JCauto

JCauto — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 21:15:57 +0000

I meant about the goat killing.

By: Mr Juggles

Mr Juggles — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 20:26:00 +0000

I think if he takes my advice and goes and buys a Harvard MBA, I won’t have to worry much for him at all, so I face little downside expsosure to guilt for someone following that advice.

By: Mr Juggles

Mr Juggles — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 20:24:25 +0000

Oh I assumed he meant Private Equity. I see where I made my mistake.

Josh I forwarded your resume to all the best Private Qquity firms in the Land. Expect to get an email about an interview with Qqilver Lake and Qcarlyle soon. Q Investments is VERY interested too.

By: JCauto

JCauto — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 20:20:44 +0000

Careful with that advice, Mr. Juggles. As a newly minted reader of LoS, he may take you at your word.

By: harvey

harvey — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 20:19:55 +0000

I’m confused… are we talking Private Qquity or Private Equity?

By: Mr Juggles

Mr Juggles — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 18:10:17 +0000

Not to short you in public or anything, but I’ll just say I wouldn’t be buying any stock in you and leave it at that.

Anonymous blog run anonymously by professionals is probably not the best place to break into Private Equity of all things.

If you do want to break into PE, here is what I would recommend.

1) Get a Harvard MBA. They only cost like $100k or so, so not that expensive.

2) Work at some bank that does a lot of M&A or has a great pedigree or both. Alternatively you can start a fortune 1000 company, take it public, depress earnings and coerce a PE firm to initiate an MBO with you. This way, they may bring you in as a partner or you might be on their roster for operating other companies.

3) Cross your fingers and sacrifice 11 goats to Mars.

4) Wait.

5) Voila.

Failing these things, sadly it is highly unlikely you could join a PE shop.

By: Josh

Josh — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 17:12:56 +0000

As a recently minted MBA I am eager to get into the Private Qquity business. I have a Google Alert set up whenever someone posts about this industry. You seem to be knowledgeable – can you please pass my resume on to your network?