Love Markets: Mexican Woman Theory of Women

by Johnny Debacle

Highly controversial for racial and cultural reasons, and that’s likely the only reason why it’s unpublished in academia, the Mexican Woman Theory of Women suggests that once a woman locks a man down, things change dramatically, namely into a pear (Spanish Editor’s Note: pera en español, muchachos!). Women in such situations turn into pears, or at least change their shape to be more pearlike than before. My body of research canvassed all the women I have seen in my life who are Mexican, or whom my naivete and racial insensitivity suggested were Mexican, so they might not all technically be Mexican, but for all intents and purposes, I will consider them to be daughters of Mexico.

The evidence suggest that there is a startlingly high number of attractive Mexican women between the ages of 18 and 24 (seriously, they are really hot and seem awesome in every way and I have no way of accessing that market legally domestically). But there is also a huge amount of pear shaped not attractive Mexican women aged 27+.

Why the discrepancy? What happens? Simply put, women require manipulation (and incentives) too.

Recommendation: Keep them on their toes. Literally, it’s great exercise.

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