Comments on: Readers Please Make a Market

By: MTT

MTT — Mon, 14 May 2007 17:31:39 +0000

If it’s a good friend, sack up and spend $150.

If it’s some college acquaintance that you don’t really give a sh*t about, then pull a Costanza. “$500 has been donated in (Bride’s Name) to the (made-up charity).” Then spend the money on lap dances, and know that the bride will now hook you up with all of her hot friends based on your apparent generosity and sensitivity.

By: Bitchtern

Bitchtern — Thu, 10 May 2007 18:24:44 +0000

I love this webiste.

That being said: it is my suggestion to invest the money you would spend on the nuptial gift for mid-term (3y-5y) capital appreciation. This will help offset the expected IPO costs when your friend re-enters the market.

The wife is a lot like a private equity firm. She finds a good takeover target, buys it, levarages its’ assets, and then dumps into the market. Also they are both whores. That’s why I like them.

Or spend it now on a private investigator in hopes of finding something about the whore that the unsuspecting would-be husband doesn’t know. Then announce your findings durring the wedding ceremony, or shortly before.

Sometimes to do whats right for a friend you have to lose them, but isn’t sacrifice the truest form of love? That’s not rhetorical, I don’t know about those matters.

By: Cincinnatus_C

Cincinnatus_C — Wed, 09 May 2007 17:13:58 +0000

“The vega is getting significant. Can I straddle the whore wife?”

hurry up, before the groom enters into a strangle.

By: Trader Stu

Trader Stu — Wed, 09 May 2007 17:08:27 +0000

$135 seems a bit undervalued on P/CF and P/E metrics (I assume, I haven’t seen your latest audited financials). I’d think this is a short term trade opportunity up to the $150 area.

By: Arbitrageur

Arbitrageur — Wed, 09 May 2007 16:10:20 +0000

The vega is getting significant. Can I straddle the whore wife?

By: Johnny Debacle

Johnny Debacle — Wed, 09 May 2007 13:36:52 +0000

The opening bell pegs it at $135.

By: harvey

harvey — Wed, 09 May 2007 13:12:00 +0000

what’s the market on the may 9 puts @ $155? I think the gift is coming way cheaper. I see myself covering this one around $135.

By: The Dryer

The Dryer — Wed, 09 May 2007 13:07:04 +0000

$150 in cash. The groom is your friend, and he could give a shit about 99% of the crap on the registry. $250 – $300 if you are taking a date, which sounds expensive, but you will get laid since your date will inevitably take her invitation as a sign that you are more into her than you really are. The extra $100 – $150 is still less than a good hooker.

By: TheBigE

TheBigE — Wed, 09 May 2007 10:17:01 +0000

Custom allows that you can give a gift up to a year after the wedding. Assuming that gift would have cost 150 and you want to give it today — 142.42.

By: Aspiring Mini-Baller

Aspiring Mini-Baller — Wed, 09 May 2007 03:02:31 +0000

There should be a variation of mini-baller roulette appropriate for your conundrum.

By: TheUnrepentantGunner

TheUnrepentantGunner — Wed, 09 May 2007 00:45:14 +0000

just a friend? hmmm. id drop to at least 150, but make sure its an item sufficiently esoteric as to mask its true value, preferably off the registry.

By: chris

chris — Tue, 08 May 2007 22:18:05 +0000

the kettle is correct. checks or cash must be a round number. Anything less than $200 is weak.

Rules are entirely different in the south.

By: LeeD

LeeD — Tue, 08 May 2007 22:01:33 +0000

Do what I do. Based on your guidelines, pick something between $150 and $200. Call it $175, for your calculations.

While browsing the gift sites, find something for yourself that you can’t live without that costs at least what you spent on the bride and groom, possibly even double or more. Buy it for yourself at the same time to save on shipping.

By: arty

arty — Tue, 08 May 2007 21:35:29 +0000

The best gift is something made with your own hands. Suggest spending $5 at Michaels Arts and Crafts, and outsourcing the actual labor to an illegal immigrant or a Philippino kid at 15 cents/hour.

By: Johnny Debacle

Johnny Debacle — Tue, 08 May 2007 21:28:04 +0000

The recent spate of activity pushed it back up to $155. It ain’t easy having mini-baller readers.

By: Rattling the Kettle

Rattling the Kettle — Tue, 08 May 2007 21:24:02 +0000

$125 off the registry, before tax and shipping.

But it’s minimum $200 (for 2 guests) if you’re writing a check.

By: Arbitrageur

Arbitrageur — Tue, 08 May 2007 21:15:29 +0000

She must have some perky breastuses.

By: Johnny Debacle

Johnny Debacle — Tue, 08 May 2007 21:10:55 +0000

That formula led to $336.60

By: Johnny Debacle

Johnny Debacle — Tue, 08 May 2007 20:29:53 +0000

I don’t think they outed her but I have zero idea why they would have tried to — kinda not cool. They have had a good relationship so it doesn’t fit, but I guess anything for a post?

I would out my own mother for a line of cocaine, so who am I to judge?

By: Arbitrageur

Arbitrageur — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:57:13 +0000

EJS is right a mini-baller never hesitates.
But since you already did: $300/(r-g)^(1/t)
r: Rate of marriage deterioration (weighted average of breast saggage and general wifely annoyance)
g: Marriage potential growth (i.e. he got her knocked up, her daddy got him a job at his firm)
t: Expected time until divorce

By: The Dude

The Dude — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:49:35 +0000

$130b/$140a

By: Poseidon

Poseidon — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:39:55 +0000

Short Dealbreaker for the bullshit they pulled on Equity Private. Drive it into the ground.

By: Johnny Debacle

Johnny Debacle — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:34:02 +0000

Parsing through the prices

It looks like we have votes for $100, $180, $299 (upper limit of registry items) and $100. After some smoothing

New price is $140.

By: ef

ef — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:24:38 +0000

agree w/ billy ray but would suggest different approach:
–$100 on present
–$50 (on top of any existing planned expenditures) for your friend on lap dances at bachelor party

By: EJS

EJS — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:22:47 +0000

A true mini-baller grabs the most expensive thing on the registry. Get it done, hitter.

By: MGW

MGW — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:16:56 +0000

We have a hot tip that “whorish wife” has the long range potential to jump in value due to the exercising of divorce options. “Whorish wife” would then be valued at between 50%-80% of the union’s book value and will also have future cash flows from the other half on tap.

Recommendation: Long “whorish wife” by investing in expensive, girly gifts, for the wedding present.

Target Price: $180

By: brian

brian — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:21:28 +0000

take a guess at what your buddy is shelling out for your plate and any guests of yours, and try to match that.. discount for whoriness if you must

By: Billy Ray Human

Billy Ray Human — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:17:15 +0000

We see “whore wife” as a negative factor in valuing the union

$150 – $50 = $100

By: Johnny Debacle

Johnny Debacle — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:52:44 +0000

Those assets have already been allocated about a month ago. It was a private placement for qualified investors only.

By: Patton

Patton — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:49:55 +0000

A suggestion, even if it is perhaps overly simplistic:

Spend $150, but spend it on something other than the gift registry; something your friend would enjoy, without regard to getting married.

Think “asset allocation”.