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Long YOLO Notes

They’re back, dudes, they’re back. Just like those canaries in those coal mines, PIK toggle notes are back and they are ready to party until they are dead because that is why and how canaries die in coal mines. Scene from a coal mine: “What’s that gassy smell, Fitz?” “I don’t know, Mac, but that

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Open Letter to Those Who Would Write For Us

We get countless solicitations from hungry young pups who want to write for us. In the past we have replied one off, but the volume has grown so huge of late that we are posting this open letter to all those who would write for us in a post we have creatively titled “Open Letter

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Cypriot Experiments: Mugabe Optimality in Banking

Something is going on in Cyprus. It’s been difficult for us to figure out the details due to the tough conditions: 15 years later we still can’t figure out how to use Bloomberg for anything other than financial AIM (we bloom dudes all day long); ever since Google murdered Google Reader (future murdered, if you’re

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LONG CAPITALISM

A concerning trend is whether our leaders actually believe in capitalism at all anymore. Here is a recent speech from Ben Bernanke (it’s pretty boring so prepare yourself appropriately with stimulants whatever their origins): Today most advanced industrial economies remain, to varying extents, in the grip of slow recoveries from the Great Recession. With inflation

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Diversifying Fund I

Tinderbox Capital LLC, an incendiary investment management firm and subsidiary of Long or Short Capital LLC, announces its third fund, Diversifying Fund I. Diversifying Fund I will specialize in offering the purest form of diversification available to investors. Tinderbox Capital will allocate physical cash into a physical box that we’ve painted black. This box will

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Long the Wealth Effect

We admit that we doubted the zimbabweconomists who said “this will work, trust us, we’ve never been wrong theoretically,” but the wealth effect is working. We feel GREAT. More importantly, we feel rich. So much so that we are using a new word to describe our riches — wealth. And all that wealth burning a

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Long Mitt Romney

Things have never looked worse for Mitt Romney. We think they can only get better. Since securing the Republican party’s mandate, Romney had hovered near a coin-flip to beat The Obama. Then Romney made the unfortunate mistake of personally insulting half the country in attempt to secure votes, an unconventional and seemingly unsuccessful strategy. Romney’s

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Short the Humblebrag

Published on May 1, 2012 by in Research

While making out with Kate Upton last night, it hit me. I turned to KitKate, my name for her, and stared straight into her eyes. “Baby, I just had an idea.” Her eyes stared back, empty just like her head. “Baby, my idea is really true.” It was then that I realized that I hadn’t

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Dangerous Fund II

Tinderbox Capital LLC, an incendiary investment management firm and subsidiary of Long or Short Capital LLC, announces its second fund, Dangerous Fund II. Dangerous Fund II will specialize in lighting money on fire. Tinderbox Capital will allocate physical cash into positions in which it will ignite. These positions will include the log cabin, the teepee,

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Short Structural, Long Cyclical

Published on April 10, 2012 by in Research

Time is tough. People struggle to understand it. We can make sense of what’s happening now, can kind of remember what happened in the recent past, and can’t fathom the long-term. All of this is probably because of Twitter or because people no longer write each other long, boring letters like they did during the

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Melissa Moody Does Greece, or Rather a Greek

Published on April 4, 2012 by in Research

Greece Previous Rating Greece: BFFAE (Best Friends Forever and Ever) New Rating Greece: Whore Ratings Rationale: Just when you think you found the one, you realize that the one is not…the one. He was so hot. A beautiful specimen. OMG, he was a god, a Greek God, an actual Greek God. He went by Helios.

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The Model Business Model

Published on March 29, 2012 by in Research

Notwithstanding its conservative investment portfolio, the central bank remains highly profitable because of its unique business model. Rather than paying for funding, it simply creates the money that it needs at no cost. The return on its investments, as a result, almost all flows directly to the bottom line. -NY Times So simple and so

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Solutions to Problems: Healthcare

Healthcare continues to get ever more expensive. Healthcare is crucial to quality of life in America. How best to reconcile the former with the latter is an issue that has divided, and will continue to divide, people along many lines: have & have-not, 1% & 99%, Republican & Democratican. Healthcare is an issue, I agree.

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A Rebuke, Literally in Public

Published on March 15, 2012 by in Research

From Georgetown’s own, “Elizabeth,” in the comment thread for Pomegranate Capital Thinks Women Can Run Money Better, Is Wrong: This is quite literally the most ridiculous article and comment thread I have ever read. Are you men really so afraid of a little competition that you have to kill it before it becomes a serious

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