Long or Short Capital

Cash flow. We all know what it is. Everybody wants some. In light of our new Long or Short Capital dividend policy, we need it. But how do we get it?

Simple. Sell out as much as possible. Each Saturday we will try and take it down a notch and whore ourselves in new and shameless ways. As part of the deal, the following Saturday we’ll let you know how successful our greed was.

This week’s sellout: Download the limited edition Firefox through the button on the top left of the sidebar. This only applies to people who don’t have Firefox installed already.

You can put cash money in our pockets and make us rich beyond your wildest dreams. Don’t know what the Firefox browser is and why it is good to use? Well we don’t know either, but rumor has it that it turns html into gold and sends it directly into your bank account. Either that or it makes you 4 inches taller and 3x as smart.

Each time you download Firefox and install it, use it, and love it, Google issues us a single share in their company. Or gives us a dollar. We’re unsure about that part.

Download it now before Google runs out of Firefoxes and has to make more.

Update: This will no longer work, since we removed the button.

Our fiscal quarter ended on 10/31/05, and we had a banner quarter, our best quarter ever, thanks to the stalwart efforts of management and their compensation package which was heavily weighted towards long dated options in the company’s non-existent stock. We have a lot of skin in the game, so you should trust us.

Unaudited Financial Results for Q1’06

Income Statement

Revenue $109.03

Cost of Sales $0.00

Operating Income $109.03

Balance Sheet

Cash $0.00

Accounts Receivable $430,000,109.03

Inventory $3.99

Accounts Payable $3.99

Cash Flow Statement

Operating Cash Flow $0.00

Capex $0.00

Distributions $X.00

Performance Metrics (mix of Kanoodle/Blogads/Adsense/Yahoo)

Visits 81,431

Pageviews 143,151

Clicks on ads 402

Ad impressions served ~268,000

Subscribers by Email 30

Subscribers by XML 33

Inbound Links per Technorati 26

Inbound Links per Google 7

Readers are to submit questions by email to misterjuggles; if we get enough questions and of enough quality we will post a quarter end conference email in which we promise to cuss out any analysts who ask pesky questions. As a preface, let us just say that our own Project Propeller was an unmitigated success. We feel great about our first quarter, we are proud to have delivered earnings per a share of $DIV/0 and we will continue to build on our resume of greatness.