What will an Obama Presidency look like?

by Johnny Debacle

What will an Obama Presidency look like?

Black. No seriously, we elected an African American, and history suggests this has never happened before. Like most people though, history is wrong (Editor’s Note: although history is wrong slightly less often than herstory). There have in fact been many black presidents in America’s past. Our research indicates there is one who is a particularly strong comp to Barrack Hussein Obama. His name is David Palmer.

David Palmer was President for a single term in the early 2000’s, after a charismatic and effective campaign swept him into office. While he handled crises well with his unwavering leadership, his thoughtfulness, and his even-keeled temperament, the very fact that there were so many crises should give pause in any evaluation of his presidency’s quality.

Here is a partial list of what happened during Palmer’s Presidency:

  • He was ousted from his position via the 25th amendment during a nuclear bomb threat. He was subsequently reinstated.
  • His Chief of Staff, Vice President and other members of his staff were known to betray him and act in ways that could be construed as treasonous.
  • High-ranking advisor Lynn Kresge was pushed down a flight of stairs by the Chief of Staff.
  • There was a biological threat against the US launched by a Latin narcotics syndicate.
  • He divorced his wife, whom it was subsequently made clear was some sort of sophisticated criminal/political mastermind.
  • His brother was implicated in the killing of his married lover’s husband, also an important Palmer supporter.

I could go on, but I think you get the drift. It should be noted that Palmer ably guided the country through these crises, but one cannot escape the fact that some of them were wholly created by Palmer’s lack of good judgement about who he surrounded himself with. As Obama selects his staff, consider this precedent. Can we state, unequivocally, that Rahm Emmanuel is not somehow aligned with a crazy hawkish intragovernment syndicate with unclear objectives? Precedent says No. Can we feel comfortable that Michelle is not some backroom political power broker and/or criminal mastermind? Precedent says No.

We don’t know a lot more about Palmer’s presidency, including the quality of the economy, or the specific years, or why he was so often in Los Angeles, but at least we have some idea of what to expect. As an aside, after Palmer retired, he later went on to become an important senior advisor to the Government, and eventually the head of the top secret military unit, the Unit.

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POSTED: 11/25/08 11:04 AM
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