Long Pluto, Short Scientists

by Mr Juggles

Not a picture of Pluto but totally radicalScientists have been stellar performers over the past few decades as a pureplay on the empiricism trend. While we believe this theme has yet to play out fully, Scientists have overshot their long-term normalized earnings and have balance sheets overloaded with Sanctimonious. The downgrading of Pluto by the Scientists [note that we still rate Pluto at Sector Perform] reflects their overly self-important view of the world. Thousands (Millions? (billions?)) of years after the formation of the universe, to us, seems fairly late in the game to be changing the definition of planethood. In our view, Pluto has achieved permanent planet status.

Scientists now define a planet as “a celestial body that (a) is in orbit around the Sun, (b) has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a hydrostatic equilibrium (nearly round) shape and (c) has cleared the neighborhood around its orbit.”

We define a planet as “Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and — most of all — Pluto.”

Recommendation: In the next lunar cycle, look for a convergence between Scientists’ reputations and Pluto’s currently battered status in the solar system. Also Scorpios, with Mars at its apex, you are all gonna get laid.

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  1. Ruby
    August 24th, 2006 | 8:24 pm

    ‘Also Scorpios, with Mars at its apex, you are all gonna get laid this month.’

    I’m all about this astrological prediction!

  2. Mr Juggles
    August 25th, 2006 | 9:02 am

    Also makes for a great a line at a club. Not as good as pulling the tag on her shirt and saying “Just checking to see if you were made in heaven” but up there.