Archive for August, 2005

I’m Long Supreme Justice Dance Parties

People fear that SC Nominee John Roberts will be an originalist constructionist contemplaterist platonic lover of agape. But all that “legal” analysis obscures the clear trends towards greater amounts of dance parties in the Supreme Court, a trend from which our readers can profit. The so-called “classic dance moves” are highly levered to Supreme Justice Dance Parties, so consider stocking your portfolio with the Sprinkler, Walking the Dog and even the high beta Jack Knife. Price targets of $Perf, $Perf.8 and $3.Perfty-perf, respectively.


Great call on Z, Juggles. You’ve done it again. Apparently Oscar the Grouch (who’s underweight everything) was on cnbc this morning hyping the letter z. It’s up big in the after-market, real big.

Also I’ve been meaning to tell the world about “perf”. It’s a number that I just invented. It’s between 6 and 7, not a decimal, a new integer. It’s on the number line in every place any number would be, the tens spot (perfty), the hundreds spot (perf-hundred), and so on. The numeral of perf is kind of like a capital E, unfortunately there’s no key on the keyboard for it – yet. I’m quite obviously long perf. It’s up perfty-perf percent just since I started writing this. I know, I don’t believe it either, it’s unbelievable.

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