Four Simple Steps to Becoming a Billionaire
by Johnny DebacleFrom Carter’s Adventure, here is a list of three habits of billionaires:
- Exercise daily.
- Follow your passion.
- Read. A lot. At least two hours a day, but many said they read four or more hours a day.
This type of advice always makes us reflect back on the McSweeney’s piece, 7 Habits of Highly Successful People:
- Skiing
- Yachting
- Snorkeling
- Golf
- Polo
- Dinner parties
- Shopping

In our professional opinion, the best way to become obscenely wealthy is still the old fashioned way in 4 simple steps.
Western World Version
- Take outrageous risks with extremely high upside.
- Be the 1 out of 500 million for whom it pans out. This one is key so focus on it.
- Attribute your wealth creation to your own hard work, your own genius and the power of your business plan. Be sure to stress how your wealth was singularly made possible by your unique endowment of elbow grease, street smarts, common sense, all of which your competitors obviously lacked (proven by how poor they are compared to you).
- Buy a mega yacht and/or athletic team.

Russian World Version*
- Acquire assets illegally either from or with the help of the state. Extra rubles for seizing commodity related assets
- Kill all your rivals.
- Buy a mega yacht and/or athletic team.
* The Russian version is only 3 steps reflecting certain “efficiencies” in the Russian billionaire market.
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Funny article about rich people…
This made me laugh: Four Simple Steps to Becoming a Billionaire. As many folks in usability / user experience know, don’t listen to self-reporting. People are very bad at explaining why they did something, and instead, you have to watch…
It’s funny, but I was just saying a similar thing to your Western World Version on http://www.afterreadingrichdadpoordad.com in the comment section about how Trump wants to make Americans rich.
Checking your comment on that site you stray in a wrong direction with your analogy to Netscape.
Netscape is more comparable to say, Amaranth. They had some bets that would be right, they were just too far into the future and/or at an indeterminate time in the future which they weren’t positioned to survive until.
I think Netscape had most of the right bets, the problem is that they tried to sell their product to businesses while Microsoft could give it away for free. Without income Netscape had problems competing. It makes me wonder what would happen if someone released a free Windows-clone or a free Office clone before Microsoft became the standard that all businesses seem to adhere to.
Read and Become a Billionaire in Four Easy Steps…
Blawg Review has the insane task of hosting both Carnival of the Capitalists and Blawg Review #80 today. Given the problems they had crashing their server after it choked on all the links, I think you should given them the……
[...] Four Simple Steps to Becoming a Billionaire at Long or Short Capital Tongue in cheek about becoming a billionaire. I had a little chuckle with this one. [...]
http://www.endlessgibberish.com/2006/10/carnival-of-investing-45_23.html
LOL…very cool article. I need to up my risk taking factors
[...] Four Simple Steps to Becoming a Billionaire at Long or Short Capital Tongue in cheek about becoming a billionaire. I had a little chuckle with this one. [...]
Let me recommend four simple steps to become a billionaire:
1. Create a business that serves a higher purpose in life. Create an educational institution or organization that resolves or makes researches for the cure of HIB or cancer.
2. Produce products or goods which has no competitor that means your institution has the monopoly of the market.
3. Associate with billionaires and seek their advice on how to attain and become a billionaire.
4. Attuned your minds to solve complex problems of business or firms. Institutionalist are willing to absorved partners in a lucrative business firms whose partner could be relied on solving complex problems.
5. Be willing to take risks in business. The greater the risk the greater is the reward.
6. Resolved to become a billionaire and attain it no matter what the consequences will be. Billionaires are people with a stick-to-itiveness attitude in life.
7. Realize that the inherent qualities of empires, royalties, dynasties and palaces are problems, risks, intricacies and ambivalence. People who realize these inherent qualties and are well trained and educated to face them will naturally become billionaires.
8. Tour and have a vacation around the world. Life is too short to procrastinate.
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You forgot the fifth. Marry a (successful) hedge fund manager. You can find them in Connecticut. According to Vanity Fayre last year, most are busy doing refits of old established houses down there, so they should be home.
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This post is hilarious and it has truth in it! Great post, I’ve linked it on my blog.
i like to be billionaire please help me to acommplish it.
thanks
with best regards
ernest ejezie.
[...] Long or Short Capital » Four Simple Steps to Becoming a Billionaire – Paying Dividends Since Q1R… Russian World Version* [...]
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i am an undergarduate in an african university,studying mechanical engineering,all i think of everyday is to become a billionaire , but i am not getting the direction…………. help me out
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My name is Ersen and I’m a novice inventor from Australia. I’m expressing my interest of inventions to an investor. All four of my inventions are cost effective and the resources needed are commonly found. If you are interested do contact as negotiations will be made prior to the release of the plans.
I do completely agree with that you have written in this post. Most importantly, we need practice what we preach.
There’s a Russian film about how their first wave of billionaires (aka oligarchs) came to be. It’s titled Tycoon. It’s in Russian with subtitles and very dry. In other words, don’t rent it unless you are really, really, really interested in the subject.
[...] Johnny Debacle at Long or Short Capital posts Four Simple Steps to Becoming a Billionaire. [...]
1 in 500 million? Surely its closer to 1 in 50 million. Or perhaps, 1 in 5 million of those who really do take outrageous risks.
If these steps is true i just want to learn about the financial risks, the plans, the steps, the whole nine yards on become a “succesful billionaire” Thank you all and for those that accomplish their plans may god bless them and for the ones thats following the steps like myself may god open the doors for our success.
sincerly.
Mr. Keith.A.Choice
P.S
may god bless all.
Hi. I don’t know if this site is a joke or not but I liked it. I especially liked Rule #1 for Western World Vision. If you don’t take bigger risks then others you aren’t going to be different then anyone else. You surely can not make a billion dollars from just trading a normal account in average ways. Financial derivatives are a great way to increase cash faster.
Anyway. Everyone is always saying I’m ridiculous with my outrageous plans. Tell me what you think:
http://financeninja.wordpress.com/2007/01/14/how-to-become-a-millionaire-in-10-months-updated/
thanks, Paul
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[...] But picking the right basket is the trick, right? Satirical website Long Or Short Capital parodied that mindset when they posted their Four Simple Steps To Becoming A Billionaire: [...]