Four Simple Steps to Becoming a Thousandaire

by Mr Juggles

Our Four Simple Steps to Becoming a Billionaire guide was met with great enthusiasm. For those who wish to start with smaller goals and then build from there, we now offer our Four Simple Steps to Becoming a Thousandaire.

Thousandaire Housing

  1. Go to college. Or not.
  2. Work a max of 40 hrs per week. Do not break this rule under any circumstances.
  3. Have kids with many women. Paying child support is fun.
  4. Treat yourself to a car you can’t afford. Gas inefficiency is a plus.
  5. Remember that money which you save will probably be stolen by those crooks at the bank. Spend all your money now to avoid future losses.
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POSTED: 01/29/07 1:25 PM
Comment (195)


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Comments

  1. -g-
    January 29th, 2007 | 2:02 pm

    I like that the “Four Simple Steps to Becoming a Thousandaire” actually consists of five steps.

    A subtle nob to the remarkable inefficiencies.

  2. -g-
    January 29th, 2007 | 2:03 pm

    Nod, even.

  3. Drinky McDiligence
    January 29th, 2007 | 4:19 pm

    You might want to check out today’s previous post, the link to lipsticking.com offers some great advice WRT statistics:

    “…that’s an excellent point [about statistics] – and one I was thinking about as I wrote the post, but… I got distracted. I often wonder about statistics – and although I quote them here, I expect readers to do due diligence and keep an open mind on all things with numbers – they can be so misleading!”

    I often wonder about statistics too. Like, where do they come from? What do they mean? Will this shirt match my eyes? Did I feed the fish this morning? Will I ever be a thousandaire? I wonder how many thousandaires there are… I bet that’s a statistic!

  4. Goldman Slacks
    January 29th, 2007 | 6:00 pm

    statistically speaking, four simple steps usually end up being about 5 steps about 50% of the time.

  5. Mr Juggles
    January 29th, 2007 | 7:42 pm

    Now you guys are thinking like future thousandaires. That’s what we wanted to see.

  6. HarlemHaberdasher
    January 29th, 2007 | 11:50 pm

    In statistics you often have to do n-1, or in this case 5-1. 5-1=4. Problem solved.

  7. Jay
    January 30th, 2007 | 11:26 am

    That’s too funny! And yet accurate…

  8. Michael Lomker
    October 11th, 2007 | 2:44 pm

    I’m in a finance class right now. There’s always a way to prove that NPV dictates spending all of your money *immediately*. I recommend it.