Recipes for Money

by Johnny Debacle

Recipe for Money (2006)

  • Find an asset, any asset will do, but preferably a fresh organic fair-trade asset.
  • Add 1/4 cup soy sauce.
  • Add 2 slices of Government cheese.
  • Season with leverage. Continue to season with additional leverage until the money tastes to your liking.
  • Serves many.

Recipe for Money (2009).

  • Find a leveraged asset, any asset will do, but preferably a McMansion or McInvesment Bank one, ones that are made of horse and dingo meat.
  • Add mashed sweet potatoes.
  • Add 14 slices of Government cheese.
  • Short sell this concoction to taste. Continue short selling until the money tastes to your liking.
  • Serves few.

Ad Sense Ad Sense


  1. Pleb
    March 11th, 2009 | 12:15 pm

    >>>Government cheese.

    Johnny, that’s a heartbreakingly good cultural allusion suggesting impeccable taste.

    The only thing that your 2009 recipe is missing is pork – I like to sprinkle so much pork on that you forget it’s supposed to be a Cheese Casserole.

  2. March 11th, 2009 | 12:59 pm

    Pork will be involved in the 2010 or 2011 recipe. In fact, it may just be pork.

  3. March 12th, 2009 | 8:47 am

    Señor Juggles

    Going “just pork” is an option. But is it budget savvy? In these tougher economic times I’d consider at least mixing in the much cheaper skunk. Besides, the pork always end up smelling Le Pew in these sorts of recipes.

    A Point,

  4. Theoretical
    March 12th, 2009 | 11:27 am

    May I suggest the following additions to the 2009 recipe?

    After adding the sweet potatoes, sprinkle generously with investor capital raised through your Ponzi Scheme. When serving the few, remember to do so in a location with no extradition treaty.

  5. Straight Cash Homie
    March 12th, 2009 | 3:09 pm

    2 Points:
    1) I can get you guys some CD’s paying 243.5% APY. Normally, I only make these products available to heads of state and billionaires, many of which frequent this site. Due to the economic implosion I am considering doing all of you a favor and selling a small portion of my book to you even if you aren’t my normal clientele. I do this to help out my fellow man as a humanitarian.
    2) The omission of CORN from the 2009 seems a glairing oversight. Bacon is God’s currency. Corn makes the feed, pigs become the bacon. Hence, corn is the Penny and bacon the Benjamin.

  6. Goose
    March 12th, 2009 | 5:47 pm

    Penny Benjamin?

  7. Buffett McChartpuke
    March 13th, 2009 | 1:51 am

    Tasty, plus my signature failure-to-pay-GDP-estate-taxes gravy…Oink!!!

  8. Ted
    March 13th, 2009 | 9:38 am

    Recipe for money (2025)

    1. retrieve one (1) abducted son of your Chinese overlord
    2. Stir in two (2) cups of hobo beans
    3. Weep quietly in your hobo tent
    4. Pray for trickle down economics

  9. Maverick
    March 13th, 2009 | 2:59 pm

    ….a history of high speed passes over five air control towers, and one admiral’s daughter!

  10. Size
    March 16th, 2009 | 8:24 am

    Ted, that should be “wait for trickle down economics to be invented”. There is no such discipline, despite what you and George Bush I might imagine.