Accounting in my Refrigerator

by Sir Equity Go

11/11/06: It was recently announced that Sir Equity Go (Me) will be switching form a LIFO to FIFO refrigerator accounting system. This news comes quickly on the heels of a $10 write-off of inventory for “Raw chicken cutlets in a ziplock” that had been sitting in inventory for two months, hidden under the bacon. The chicken’s market value was reassessed at market value which is substantially lower due to salmonella allegations. The benefits of this change will clearly outweigh the negative tax implications.

11/12/06: Sir Equity Go (Me), in a bold reorganization of his food production and consumption process, has announced plans to initiate a Just-in-Time inventory system. The practical application of this shift will require Sir Equity to eat only take-out Chinese food for every meal. While this will streamline his inventory system, it will also likely increase his W/H ratio (Weight/Height) substantially.

Ad Sense Ad Sense


  1. The Corner
    December 13th, 2006 | 2:22 pm

    One might say that you are engaging in Chinese food procurement only on a best-efforts basis. Don’t forget to deduct from working capital the undue concentration charges for having excess chicken breasts over, say, pork chops or steak

  2. PoN
    December 13th, 2006 | 6:56 pm

    Channel-stuffing can also be a concern. The potential for abuse of liquid assets is large, and pushing to hit your number could result in a “restatement” the following quarter.

  3. Richadr Roma
    December 14th, 2006 | 8:47 am

    How about expiration dates? A trick I learned as
    a bachelor is to put items that have just reached their expiration back into the freezer and take
    them out in 51 weeks; this results in another week
    of freshness.

  4. December 14th, 2006 | 11:13 am

    Roma, I like where you’re going with that. I could create a deferred “spoiled food write off expense” asset, and just put any food I have that spoils in that account (a large freezer). By the time investors figure out that I am just hiding expenses, I will have reaped huge dividends for a few years. Its like Enron in my kitchen!

  5. Bitchtern
    August 14th, 2007 | 5:54 pm

    This site keeps me from climbing a bell-tower with a hunting rife.

  6. Glukoza
    March 13th, 2008 | 10:58 pm

    another great “bitchslapper”. I laughed so hard at night (when i was reading this) my wife woke up and bitchslap me.

    on the same note…
    I had a nice goodwill write down on half&half which was on the books for about 8 months. Nasty!