Motivated Prostitutes, the Opposite of Lazy Unions

by Kaiser Edamame

Italy has prostitutes and these prostitutes have rights. One small Italian mayor is trying to eclipse those rights. Last week he passed a law making it illegal to obstruct or slow traffic for the purpose of soliciting sex. The soliciting sex part is fine, it’s the obstructing traffic part that concerns him enough to slap the offense with a €50 fine. Well the prostitutes of Padua had enough so they decided they’re not going to take this sitting down, they are going to take this lying down, on their backs. The upset ladies are protesting by offering sex for the low low price of “on the house.” That’s right, to protest this injustice they are going to bang, constantly for zip, zilch, zero, nada, goose egg, perf – perf, 0 euros. The women participating will be wearing pink ribbons to let their customers know. Sidenote: These are just the kind of girls we need for the Save these Hot Boobs from Cancer campaign.

When unions get wronged, mad, or bored they protest by REFUSING to work and they STILL get paid. Then there’s prostitutes, when they get pissed they get even by STILL going to work and REFUSING pay. That is getting it done. There is the one small problem which is that this method of protest doesn’t really set up the right incentive structure: “So what you’re telling me is you’re going to have sex with me for free until I repeal this law? And if I repeal this law then you’ll go back to charging me? Ok, yeah let me think about what my best option is but first why don’t you get in my car so you don’t get a 50 euro ticket you pretty little thing.”

Even though sometimes they’re not the smartest I’m still long hookers and obviously short unions.

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  1. Leveraged Finance
    May 21st, 2007 | 10:44 am

    A prostitue made the following comment in the article:
    `If I move, tomorrow somebody will take my spot, which is a good spot that I’ve had for 30 years, Ansa reported.

    I don’t know what your personal hobbies are, but I refuse to go long on a hooker with a carreer of 30+ years…

    Long myself
    Short the hooker

  2. Bitchtern
    May 21st, 2007 | 12:12 pm

    I wonder how the 401k matching works out in that line of business? A lot messy paper work I would presume.

    I concur; Long Hookers, Short Unions.

  3. knights of cabiria
    May 21st, 2007 | 3:51 pm

    hats off for showing Sophia Loren who played the master hooker baller arbitrageuse who would never stoop so low. it just wouldn’t be the same story w/Guilietta Masina who played the bedraggled 30 year vet who can’t swim & gets swindled out of her puny hovel/savings at least twice

    long De Sica, short Fellini

  4. ef
    May 21st, 2007 | 4:42 pm

    since extensive hooker use tends to shorten the lifespan of (marital) unions as well, long hookers, short unions, short unions.

  5. May 21st, 2007 | 7:22 pm

    Not only are they getting it done, they’re making it happen.

    I guess that tags them as mini-ballers? It almost doesn’t seem fair.

  6. May 21st, 2007 | 8:38 pm

    “We’re protesting for a sexuality that is free and consensual,” said 41 year-old Brazilian transvestite Kristal, one of the organizers identified only with her first name, according to the Web site of newspaper la Repubblica.

    Long Hookers, Short Unions, and Neutral Transvestites.

  7. May 22nd, 2007 | 8:39 am

    I think the PC term is “tranvy”.

  8. Zigolone
    April 21st, 2010 | 10:15 am

    Taxi drivers in Napoli make a fortune hauling tourists to the place where the legendary diva Sofia Loren was rumoured to have plied her wares in the worlds oldest profession. The last time I saw Naples there was a look alike posed on the low wall of that avenue. Charging visitors for photos…