Mac Attack

by Johnny Debacle

Mac’s are dominating the news, whether it be Freddie, Indy or Apple. But investors are understandably confused as to how to look at each Mac, and whether being a Mac is a good thing or a bad thing for a potential investment. Here is what our research indicates.

  • IndyMac (NYSE: IMB) — Bad, too artsy sounding and unloved by the masses. Short
  • Freddie Mac (NYSE: FRE) — Good and bad. Good that it has the full force of the Govt behind it; bad that it has the full force of the Govt behind it. Other things that have the full force of the Govt behind it include Iraqi Peace, Afghani 20th centurydom, the US Dollar and the USPS. You want to own the equity in that entity? Short you
  • Fannie Mae (NYSE: FNM) — An honory Mac, see Freddie Mac but add in transsexual identity issues. Short the LGBTAMac as well.
  • Big Mac — Delicious as always and digestion proof which allows it to conveniently be reused; this quality makes the Big Mac recession proof. Long
  • The Daddy Mac — Totally dated…NOT. Just kidding, it’s very dated…NOT. No I mean it, it’s dated. Seriously. Short the Daddy Mac and NOT
  • PennyMac — A startup financial entity created by BlackRock and Highfields to make distressed plays in the mortgage space. The penny let’s you know that this is a Mac that gets it done and at a good price. Long
  • Mac computer — A PC that has been marketed well enough by Apple (NASDAQ: AAPL) to command a 20-30% premium for being pretty and having spent time in Steve Jobs magical fallopian tubes. Long
  • Mac zealot — like a Mac computer minus the PC and plus a defective person who loves a company more than any person in their own life. Wish they spent time in Steve Jobs womb. Love to wait in lines and buy consumer products as they “Think Different” together. Short
  • GMAC — Four parts Freddie Mac, Three parts depreciating collateral, Two parts auto, Five parts GM (NYSE: GM) equals Short.
Related Reseach:

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  1. July 14th, 2008 | 10:49 am

    You forgot Chili Mac, which I posted on at exactly the same minute.

    My post, btw, was an obvious LongOrShort homage.

  2. american bandersnatch
    July 14th, 2008 | 2:42 pm

    What about Bernie Mac? He’s off his peak but still has potential.

  3. KOPI
    July 14th, 2008 | 4:14 pm


    How could you forget Natty Mac?!?

    Especially when run by a team of ballers like these?

    Long high-school-picture-day backgrounds

  4. Gin&Tonic
    July 14th, 2008 | 7:30 pm
  5. ab
    July 15th, 2008 | 8:50 am

    Does this constitute an endorsement of JohnnyMac ( I’ve heard that Mac is bac(k).

  6. Strattie
    July 15th, 2008 | 11:37 am


    Macing on someone or macing out
    MAC the uzi
    MAC cosmetics by Avon
    S’Mac drugs
    Mac is also a token cultural stereotype dude
    MacLovin’ from Superbad

  7. TheFunWizard
    July 16th, 2008 | 11:50 am

    Two notorious omissions:

    MacGuyver: so long right now… he can reshape the credit crisis using his pen knife and duct tape.

    Maccarena: very short this stupid dance. AYYYYYYY MACCARENA HA !

  8. cgaros
    July 27th, 2008 | 5:40 pm

    I would buy some calls on the Macarena at today’s prices – nobody is pricing in the volatility of dance style popularity. Sentiment is very low, but that makes it a classic deep value pick. Think about all the retiring baby boomers who will want to indulge in Macarena nostalgia in their retirement, and all the teenagers who may not even be aware of the Macarena yet. All it needs is a remix and a good marketing campaign and we could be talking 200% returns in a few years time.

    I would short Macbeth and start building a long position in Macduff. So many years later, a lot of people still haven’t realized that Macbeth is:

    a. totally whipped
    b. totally dead
    c. totally the kind of CEO who would make an all-stock acquisition of some witches with no earnings based on a cursory reading of the latest quarterly.

    On the other hand: “Reenter MACDUFF, with MACBETH’S head”. I can’t see Macduff continuing to trade below book value for much longer.

  9. BobbyJo
    August 9th, 2008 | 10:25 am

    Looks like those of use who went short Bernie Mac will be buying new jets.