Mac Attack

by Johnny Debacle

Mac’s are dominating the news, whether it be Freddie, Indy or Apple. But investors are understandably confused as to how to look at each Mac, and whether being a Mac is a good thing or a bad thing for a potential investment. Here is what our research indicates.

  • IndyMac (NYSE: IMB) — Bad, too artsy sounding and unloved by the masses. Short
  • Freddie Mac (NYSE: FRE) — Good and bad. Good that it has the full force of the Govt behind it; bad that it has the full force of the Govt behind it. Other things that have the full force of the Govt behind it include Iraqi Peace, Afghani 20th centurydom, the US Dollar and the USPS. You want to own the equity in that entity? Short you
  • Fannie Mae (NYSE: FNM) — An honory Mac, see Freddie Mac but add in transsexual identity issues. Short the LGBTAMac as well.
  • Big Mac — Delicious as always and digestion proof which allows it to conveniently be reused; this quality makes the Big Mac recession proof. Long
  • The Daddy Mac — Totally dated…NOT. Just kidding, it’s very dated…NOT. No I mean it, it’s dated. Seriously. Short the Daddy Mac and NOT
  • PennyMac — A startup financial entity created by BlackRock and Highfields to make distressed plays in the mortgage space. The penny let’s you know that this is a Mac that gets it done and at a good price. Long
  • Mac computer — A PC that has been marketed well enough by Apple (NASDAQ: AAPL) to command a 20-30% premium for being pretty and having spent time in Steve Jobs magical fallopian tubes. Long
  • Mac zealot — like a Mac computer minus the PC and plus a defective person who loves a company more than any person in their own life. Wish they spent time in Steve Jobs womb. Love to wait in lines and buy consumer products as they “Think Different” together. Short
  • GMAC — Four parts Freddie Mac, Three parts depreciating collateral, Two parts auto, Five parts GM (NYSE: GM) equals Short.
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