Camels, The Next Big Thing

by Johnny Debacle

Camels are the navy of the desert, capable of porting goods across terrain that is otherwise inhosptiable, even to trucks. The shipping and transport of goods is crucial to modern global economies. Is the camel industry poised to benefit from the contagion of the emerging Middle East market?

Ahkmoud, my desert guide in the Middle East last week, shared these facts with me on camels:

  1. Camels can go without food or water for long periods of time from 6 days up to a month depending on the conditions.
  2. A camel has a powerful sense of taste. Ahkmoud remembers a camel that would only drink Coke, when offered a Pepsi he would refuse. When offered Pepsi or water or other substitute liquid within a Coke can, he would catch onto the ruse, the clever beast, and spit it out.
  3. Camels only have sex once per year (hence the term “sexual camel”). If you happen to disrupt a camel humping (pun intended), the camel will remember you ashis enemy for the rest of his life.
  4. Camel milk can cure cancer, if it is caught early (Ahkmoud insisted it had to be within the 1st two weeks).
  5. The Koran says that if you want to know Allah, you need only look to the camel.

The typical pick-up truck costs you $20k, requires constant refueling, will overheat in the desert, pollutes the earth, cannot discern between Coke/Pepsi, and cannot cure cancer. A fully grown camel costs the USD equivalent of $1300 to $1700 with none of those drawbacks. And for all of that, all he asks is you turn your head once a year while he bangs outthe two humped camel babe he metin eastern Turkey.

Recommendation: Long the Camel, growth in automobile usehas sucked the world dry of oil while simultaneously causing global warming. The world will soon be a hot desert withno oil and the only way to get around willbe on coke-drinking camels. We also recommend exposure to flying camels which should take significant share from Airbus and Boeing after they are FAA approved later this year.



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Comments

  1. harvey
    December 22nd, 2006 | 3:25 pm

    this is one of, if not THE, best analysis on the site. I cannot understand why it is not listed under “our best analysis” in the margin of this page.

  2. harvey
    December 27th, 2006 | 10:53 am

    thank you.

  3. December 27th, 2006 | 11:21 am

    Feedback is how we improve. Thanks harvey.

  4. Dawn Van Zant
    August 5th, 2007 | 8:22 pm

    One of my personal goals is to help build more awareness for the Bactrian widl camels in the Gobi, now the 8th most endangered animals. More info and research can be found on these amazing camels at http://www.wildcamels.com; that have a different DNA than domestic camels, drink salt water and have shown resistance to cancer in an environment where humans living in the same area, exposed to the same radiation had very high cancer rates.
    You can adopt and save a wild bactrian camel through the site.

  5. j
    November 30th, 2007 | 12:47 pm

    Camel feed is free in Saudi Arabia. For six young female camels you can get a Saudi bride.

  6. CAMEL_BACK
    May 4th, 2008 | 2:09 am