Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

by Mr Juggles

Dear Colleagues,
When I sent that message earlier, the one that ended with “Sent from my Verizon Wireless Blackberry,” I did not mean to send it to the distribution list to which it got sent. I know that much of my language was not only colorful, but wholly inappropriate, and for that I apologize. Larry, I am sorry for the comparison I made between you and certain feminine hygiene products. Not only was what I said unfair, but truth be told, I am not even clear that they make sense based on my understanding of the working of those products, which is admittedly imperfect. Sarah, I don’t think that you resemble the legume (gourd?) which I used to describe you — you have to understand it was written in the heat of the moment. The same heat of the moment that caused me to reply to the whole distribution list rather than just the one person I intended. As I pack my bags and prepare for what looks to be a long unemployment, a time no doubt when I will be forced to work unpaid jobs either emptying female sanitary waste baskets or harvesting the aforeimplied legumes (gourd?), I just want you all to know how sorry I am. Let this be a warning to all of you that if you let your Blackberry be your greatest lover, the edge which you constantly ride, the constant tether to the space station of your work, that it can totally cost you a job and lead to sloppily expressed thoughts. I am not very good at metaphors but I think you get what I am saying.
-Joseph Wipskittle

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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POSTED: 01/21/09 9:24 AM
Comment (385)


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Comments

  1. Cory
    January 21st, 2009 | 10:08 am

    WTF?

  2. Transcient
    January 21st, 2009 | 5:02 pm

    Amongst the funniest things I’ve ever read.

  3. Strattie
    January 21st, 2009 | 10:04 pm

    Hm. I didn’t look here for a month. Yet, I don’t see my self too excited to be back… addictions could be beat!

  4. american bandersnatch
    January 22nd, 2009 | 7:28 am

    @ Transcient

    You should read more.

  5. Mr Juggles
    January 22nd, 2009 | 10:56 am

    I agree that Transcient should read more. Strattie, I quit you the first time I read one of your comments.

  6. HAM05
    January 22nd, 2009 | 2:18 pm

    juggs,

    (whispering) i can’t quit you

  7. girl
    January 22nd, 2009 | 3:31 pm

    Juggles,

    Are you saying she resembles more of a soybean or a peapod? That’s not very descriptive now is it.

  8. Steven Myers
    January 29th, 2009 | 2:15 am

    Hilarious! haha