In the middle of a European trip I have discovered that Germans are trying to take over the world, again. The combination of their industrious efficiency and unquestionable respect for authority caused the first two world wars and it’s only a matter of time before it happens again.
Signs Germans will take over the world:
1. I can choose the exact temperature of the water in my shower here
2. They all open and start their cars with fingerprints instead of keys
3. The most popular station at the spa is the ice cold bath (it’s really f-ckin cold, only people plotting world domination would wait in line to be that cold)
4. The women are slightly attractive, but the whole talking in German thing kind of ruins it, thus the ugliness of the language will prevent the men from becoming distracted.
5. The floor of the mini-fridge is a scale, when I pick up a bottle, the fridge knows how much each product weighs and shows me the price on a screen. If I pick up two items at the same time, it says “Only touch one item at a time”
I would tell you to brush up on your German in preparation for their rise to power, but don’t bother they all already speak English anyway.
Recommendation: Long the German military industrial complex.|