Do Charles Tyrwhitt shirts destroy shareholder value?

by User Submitted

Submitted by user KB

A geographic information system correlation analysis

Fact: Charles Tyrwhitt New York City store #1 is located at Madison Avenue & 46th Street, on the ground floor of the ex-Bear Stearns corporate headquarters

Fact: Charles Tyrwhitt New York City store #2 is located at 7th Avenue & 50th Street, on the ground floor of the ex-Lehman Brothers corporate headquarters

Fact: Bear Stearns is toast

Fact: Lehman Brothers is even toastier

Discussion: While further research is required to determine the exact linkage between Charles Tyrwhitt shirts and recent examples of the massive evaporation of shareholder value, the correlation trend is undeniable. Potential catalysts for Charles Tyrwhitt based shareholder value evaporation include bank risk officers spending their afternoons perusing between 100s of shirts in various cuff, collar, and color/stripes combinations instead of properly valuing CDO securities, an “uppity” British attitude permeating the entire building like the smell of a “5-dollar footlong” from Subway left to rot hidden inside the desk of your work nemesis, or some other, more sinister reason. Our crack team of CFA-certified researchers in Mumbai will stay up for the rest of the month running numbers to further isolate the direct causation between value evaporation and Charles Tyrwhitt, so please look out for our next research blast.

Recommendation: Short anything with a geographic proximity to Charles Tyrwhitt.

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