For $100mm I Would Have Sex with Toyota’s Harry Otaka

by Johnny Debacle

Dear Mr. Harry Otaku,

Based on recent events, it looks like you need a new personal assistant and I am writing this letter to make you aware of my availability in every sense of the word.
For a situation such as this:

Otaka allegedly committed all the sins – he sent Kobayashi flowers, gave her jewellery, repeatedly invited her to intimate lunches and walks in Central Park and boasted to her about his affairs.

One of the money shots came on a business strip to Washington where Otaka allegedly summoned Kobayashi to his room, asked for sex and went the big grope.

According to Kobayashi, Otaka was told the complaint against him had come not from her, but her husband. This was apparently done to protect Otaka’s masculine sensibilities and, on Kobayashi’s account at least, it seemed to work.


Otaka allegedly criticised Kobayashi for failing to give proper thanks for the gifts he had sent.

…you should know that I love walks in the Central Park with 62 year old men. And what guy doesn’t love when his boss sends his a thoughtful bouquet, or gives him a nice pat on the butt with an accompanying oral message “Great job, JD.” I type maybe 20 words per minute, appreciate jewelry, make a crappy cup of coffee and come at the bargain basement price of $100mm. I also will never say “No.” Please consider me for the position.

Toyyyyy O-TA!,
Johnny Debacle

If only I could have found the still from At Close Range

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