How Much Would You Kill a Puppy For?

by Johnny Debacle

Inspired by this video about dead puppies, I think I’d kill a puppy for $5000 assuming it belonged to no one. What about you? Everything has a price.

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  1. Ilya
    January 21st, 2007 | 9:49 am

    Your a sick f*ck. This topic is outrageous.

  2. huh
    January 21st, 2007 | 11:11 am

    besides the obvious fact that one should try to get paid for doing things that they love, why would you NEED to get paid to kill puppies?

  3. January 22nd, 2007 | 8:50 am

    Mental note: Scratch “How much would you kill a homeless person for.”

    But seriously, I would never kill a puppy for any price because obviously killing animals for money is not something that humans would ever do. It’s outrageous just like this topic.

  4. JCauto
    January 22nd, 2007 | 11:32 am

    No no no…puppies are cute and cuddly, so killing them is outrageously sick, even for a sickly outrageous f*ck like you.

    Now chickens and cows and pigs (unpotbellied) and Korean horses and baby seals do not get this blanket protection because they are delicious and/or covered in some sort of useful hide. Therefore it is OK to club or rectally shock them (but not both, that would be outrageous).

  5. January 22nd, 2007 | 12:45 pm

    That is all great and true but what price? I want a dollar figure.

  6. PBateman
    January 22nd, 2007 | 2:11 pm

    You can drive out to the country and get a puppy for free. I think the $5k is closer to the homeless guy price (though probably much more than that – maybe $10-$25k). Thought its tough to say how much supply there really is in this unproven market and how the demand levels shake out.

  7. January 22nd, 2007 | 2:26 pm

    What someoner have to offer you, Mr. Bateman, to get it done? We can determine the supply/demand right here.

    I am a prospective customer and I want a puppy killed. How much is it gonna cost me from PBateman Preppy Puppicide Inc?

  8. PBateman
    January 22nd, 2007 | 2:47 pm

    If the PBPP Inc. were doing this fulltime, I think we would have a varying degree of different price levels. For about $500, I’d sell you a small little purse-puppy, like you might see with some bimbo at a Starbucks on the UES. For $1000, I could get you a real dog (think a Hound, or Labrador/Retriever) and special requests (Bernese Mountain Dog, Siberian Husky) would run much higher.

  9. Cheap Labor
    January 22nd, 2007 | 3:21 pm

    I would kill a puppy with a gun for $80, a knife for $350 and my bare hands for $400.

  10. January 22nd, 2007 | 6:37 pm

    By the way, most people pay to get rats killed. I’m not sure why that lady would need to get paid so much to kill a rat. My exterminator is way cheaper.

  11. Marty
    January 22nd, 2007 | 10:27 pm

    Word has it (Lewis, Clark, Captain Cook, etc) that puppies are delicious.

  12. harvey
    January 23rd, 2007 | 8:37 am

    I wouldn’t pay a dollar over $300 to kill a puppy. I guess it depends on your disposable income and the disposition of the puppy… but i think $5000 is a rip-off.