Long GOOG Pending Release Google Lucy (Beta)

by Johnny Debacle

We are reiterating our buy recommendation for Google (GOOG), following their release of Google Lucy (beta). Google Lucy (beta) is the latest in real time girlfriend simulation technology and is run by proprietary algorithms from a single server in Palo Alto. This latest offering is a disruptive technology aimed squarely at displacing women from the heterosexual romantic market.


  • Blond hair
  • Tall
  • Graduate and post graduate degrees from elite Universities
  • Simple attractive minimalist UI
  • Light from above shines on Google Lucy at all times

  • Provides social humping in the convenience of your own plane

  • Improved relevancy compared to Yahoo’s similar offering.

    Further due diligence will occur after we are accepted into the invite only beta.

    Recommendation: We are raising our GOOG price target from “Infinity-1” to “Infinity+Pi” on the grounds that this merger will be moistly secretive.

  • Source: Dealbreaker.com.

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    1. June 14th, 2006 | 11:29 am

      I’m concerned about possible 50% equity dilution in the event of a forced spin out of Google Lucy(tm).

    2. Dina
      June 23rd, 2006 | 2:49 am

      Hey not just for the heterosexual market. Women who love women love Lucy too!

    3. Mr Juggles
      June 23rd, 2006 | 7:56 am

      We’re pretty short on the girl on girl market though. Way overbought.

    4. Germando
      June 23rd, 2006 | 9:44 am

      This whole thing is off the wall— let Larry and Lucy enjoy the few years that they are young.

      Photos, comments from Long/Short and comments from readers are all bovine excretion.

      Do notice that a meer 262 people have viewed these pages… so circulation is not that great. 🙁

    5. Mr Juggles
      June 23rd, 2006 | 10:06 am

      Corrections. Long or Short has had 45,000 pagew views since February on this site. On our old site we have had 150,000 page views between our inception last July and now.

      We have 262 daily RSS subscribers, e.g. a representative RSS client grabs our feed at least once in a 24 hour period for 262 seperate users.

      Also, you take yourself and life too seriously which could really hurt when the cycle hits a trough. We recommend selling calls on Germando as a great way to capitalize on the downside he has built into his operations.

    6. garth
      November 16th, 2007 | 8:45 am

      She needs bigger @#%&*.