Mugabe It Ain’t So, It Ain’t So

by Johnny Debacle

Lots of potential investors have been inquiring about our take on the Zimbabwean elections which occurred over the weekend and indicate that Mugabe and his party, ZANU-PF, have lost the election to control the breadbasket of Africa, Zimbabwe. Some people seem to think that this means that it is al over for Mugabe and his reign of economic progressiveness with his policy of Zimbabwenomics. Some people seem like they need to get more familiar with Zimbabwenomics and its underlying principles.

  • Fact: On a nominal vote basis ZANU-PF lost the parliamentary elections.
    Reality: When you adjust the votes to account for the real rate of tyranny, you see that ZANU-PF won by a significant majority, a veritable tyrannical mandate
  • Fact: The elections are over.
    Reality: When you again account for the real rate of tyranny, you’ll see that the elections not only are not over, but they may not have actually taken place to begin with. Reality exists, but only so long as Mugabe permits it.

Recommendation: If Mugabe is living, he is ruling, and since Mugabe recently decided to enact legislation that legally ensures that Mugabe will live forever, Mugabe will in fact live forever. Zimbabwenomics forever.

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  1. muga-buga
    April 4th, 2008 | 1:05 pm

    Did postings from the likes of Bennett Kankuzi scare away any commentary on Zimbabwenomics?

  2. April 4th, 2008 | 1:31 pm

    I’m dissapointed with Mugabe’s own efforts to continue his prolific economic practices. How ironic then, that he who hath created such an ingenius theory as Zimbabwenomics would be the one to abandon it in the face of adversity…

  3. HF
    April 4th, 2008 | 2:16 pm

    The problem with Zimbabwenomics is that is perfectly correlated with the Mugabe’s Tyranny Index (MTI), and this Index has a serious treat to its performance: a binary event called, “If Mugabe loses this election he might end up like Sadam”, although my latest research tells that the probability of such event is about 30%, the volatility of this index is increasing… So my advice is buy a stradle on the MTI

  4. April 4th, 2008 | 3:03 pm

    “Hundreds of war veterans – a potent force for President Mugabe – marched through Zimbabwe’s capital Friday condemning the opposition for claiming it won the March 29 elections. ”

    “With riot police swooping in to arrest foreign journalists on Thursday evening, and separate police units raiding the Harare offices of the main opposition party, President Robert Mugabe seems to have signaled that he is not going to concede defeat in the March 29 elections easily.

    On Friday, Mr. Mugabe’s key allies – veterans of the 1970s liberation war against the former white-dominated government – marched through Harare and threatened to unleash chaos if he fell from power.

    He will not yield.