My Grandma Gets It

by Johnny Debacle

Just got off the phone with the wisest lady I know and she had some key insights into the hot topics of our day:

On the state of the markets and her 401K allocation: “Well it seems to me there’s a lot of finagling going on, and I don’t like finagling so I sold most everything.”

On Hillary Clinton: “You know I’m a democrat but I just don’t like pushy women, no one does”

On Barrack Obama: “He seems like a great man but I don’t think he has a chinaman’s chance of winning”

Recommendation: After our discussion with this wise sage who is unaffected by consensual crowd mentality and political correctness we recommend selling the market, Hillary, and Barack Obama.



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Comments

  1. mini ballerette.
    July 30th, 2007 | 1:31 pm

    this had the potential to be a funny post

  2. JCauto
    July 30th, 2007 | 1:41 pm

    Why is your grandma still in some crappy 401k? Roll that sucker into an IRA and speculate on gold and internet blog private equity buyouts.

  3. Fred
    July 30th, 2007 | 2:15 pm

    There is a survivor bias that leads to believing age brings wisdom. In fact, wisdom is one of the key tools to living long enough to be a wise oldster. I’ll bet your Grandma has always been sharp.

  4. July 30th, 2007 | 2:47 pm

    mini ballerette – it sounds like you’re dis-ing my grams. i wont have it. i would be more concerned if there was such a thing as a mini ballerette, luckily for humanity there’s not.

  5. McDanger
    July 30th, 2007 | 2:58 pm

    Fred…baker of contradiction muffins, coooked in a tautology oven and basted in flattery sauce.

  6. mini ballerette.
    July 30th, 2007 | 3:44 pm

    Mr. Debacle, I would never! Was rather hoping her musings would elevate the generally grim state of affairs around here…but alas.

    ps girls can get it done, too. Touche

  7. July 30th, 2007 | 4:21 pm

    Grim state of affairs? Where?

  8. Meade
    July 30th, 2007 | 4:47 pm

    I like this Ron Paul guy. He wants to get rid of the IRS, and he issues “letters of marquee and reprisal”, some 18th century constitutional provision to go after Bin Laden with mercenaries—mercs!!!

    If there is one person who’d keep money you earn in your pocket and defend against pirates, terrorists and colossal squids, it’s this dude.

  9. mini ballerette.
    July 30th, 2007 | 4:59 pm

    Juggles i’m a massive fan (albeit much younger/more female then your general demographic) but i think you guys are sagging with the markets…much preferred your prior quarter output

  10. July 30th, 2007 | 5:23 pm

    Duly noted. It’s more summer than market related. If you have listened to our past calls, you would know our business is seasonal.

    Also I’m not sure this can be trumped:

    http://mcsweeneys.net/2007/1/17kennedy.html

    http://mcsweeneys.net/2007/4/6kennedy.html

    http://mcsweeneys.net/2007/7/27kennedy.html

  11. mini ballerette.
    July 30th, 2007 | 5:44 pm

    hah that is brilliant, thanks

  12. McDanger
    July 30th, 2007 | 8:46 pm

    Descartes wrote to a critic:

    “Sir, thank you for your correspondence.

    “I am sitting in the smallest room in my house. Your letter is now before me; soon it will be behind me.”

  13. July 31st, 2007 | 9:29 am

    if only ron paul didnt have two first names he might have a chance. the youth love him.

  14. July 31st, 2007 | 9:31 am

    Juggles – are you apologizing to and flirting with mini-ballerette? wow that is desperate. looks like she loves it though. she claims she can “get it done” so i say you “put her to the test” if you know what I “mean”

  15. July 31st, 2007 | 10:04 am

    I think I was responding in a professional manner. And, my response would be that I prefer everything to be in professional manner, which is why when I “get it done”, I “get it done” via kuna.

  16. mini ballerette.
    July 31st, 2007 | 10:16 am

    JD: i understand gran might be the only woman you speak to on any sort of normal basis but i thought- at the least- she’d teach you how to address one as a gentleman 🙂

  17. JCauto
    July 31st, 2007 | 10:26 am

    At first I was looking forward to seeing what 16 comments on LoS looked like. Then I realized it looks like an AOL chatlog and I am sorely disappointed.

    Also, what’s with all the smileys lately?

  18. July 31st, 2007 | 11:37 am

    I don’t think I’ve ever used smilies. But the functionality rests within our WordPress install.

  19. July 31st, 2007 | 11:50 am

    Short emoticons and everything else that starts with emo-

    and just plain emo

  20. To The Hilt
    July 31st, 2007 | 12:21 pm

    I thought we covered the smiley faces issue a couple of weeks ago.

    This aggression will not stand, man.

  21. bfellows
    July 31st, 2007 | 12:24 pm

    I understand being short emoticons, but we’re still long the Low Priority arrow right? It has certainly had risk-adjusted returns far above the market to this point.

  22. w00t
    July 31st, 2007 | 12:36 pm

    unfortunately one cannot “digg” the articles or even “boost” other comments. but then again, i might have missed out on where these functions were shorted in exchange for some emoticons. maybe someone thought web 1.0 would make a comeback, kind of like the delorean:

    http://www.engadget.com/2007/07/30/delorean-being-brought-back-from-the-future/

  23. July 31st, 2007 | 1:50 pm

    There is a Digg graphic button at the bottom of every post. Boosting comments is dumb. Some people believe in the wisdom of crowds, which is their right. They love the whole crowdsourcing crap. I happen to believe that in any crowd, most of them will be idiots and I postion myself accordingly.

  24. w00t
    July 31st, 2007 | 1:55 pm

    the tiny digg button is a new one for me. im more used to the big yellow box.