Reader Email: Baller or Mini-Baller?

by Mr Juggles

From reader “Butters” in the suicide capital of the world:

Jalen Rose of the Phoenix Suns recently commented on ESPN that without Amare Stoudemire they, “gotta find a way to get it done.” I immediately began to wonder: Is Rose a baller or a mini-baller? His command of the mini-baller language obviously indicates mini, but he does pull down 1.5MM a year and is by definition a basketBALLER.

Is there some forum where public figures can be judged on their mini-baller status? If not, albeit off-topic, I believe LoS’s market leadership in mini-baller affairs would make them a prime candidate to initiate such a forum. Make it happen.

We’ll proceed on a case by case basis. Jalen Rose is most definitely a baller, he can say “Get it done” because the man has done a lot of getting it done in his life. He probably got it done with 4 girls hotter than any you have ever seen simultaneous with his appearance on ESPN. Plus, as you point out, he is a basketBALLER on the grand stage of the NBA, so even if you stick to the epistemological roots of the term, he is a baller. This analysis cost you $4,999. Please send your check to the house to the right of, right next to

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  1. Cincinnatus_C
    May 16th, 2007 | 9:14 pm

    Jalen Rose, not a baller.

    Michael Redd, baller.

  2. May 17th, 2007 | 3:08 am

    you need a “hot or not” type site so people can vote on baller/mini-baller/micro-baller/nada-baller

  3. Wild Speculator
    May 18th, 2007 | 12:34 pm

    In addition, I’d hazard a guess that Jalen Rose does not know what a mini-baller is, thereby fulfilling a key condition of being a baller.

  4. Wakawaka
    May 18th, 2007 | 2:28 pm

    Not to digress, but apparently the title of “Suicide Capital of the World” is highly disputed:

  5. Baller-in-training
    May 19th, 2007 | 10:58 am

    Wakawaka has never been to Ithaca, NY.

  6. OilGasFutures
    May 19th, 2007 | 3:19 pm

    all cornellians (is that word?) know that, what carlos boozer, good series