Short JDs

by Johnny Debacle

Last night the JD saved my life on the floor just doesn't have that ring to itMany young men and a few young women decide to apply themselves legally by obtaining their Juris Doctor, or as I call myself, JD. But the uptake of this path is generally based on flawed analysis that doesn’t properly align their objectives with their designation investment.

Most men seek the JD to “make a lot of money” which is really just a euphimism for “power over women.” This means you sign up for four years of college and four years of college debt, maybe a few years break doing something like teaching or navel gazing in Tahiti or some shit while you polish your LSATs, then three years of law school with its accompanying three years of law school debt. At that point you have a full on JD appended to your existence, and henceforth get to spend a lot of time to make a lot of money doing something you might not hate but probably will.

Over the entire course of this process the person who sought the opposite designation, the DJ, will be pulling more strange each night than the JD will in his entire life, all with a designation he obtained at no cost.

DJ is the actual opposite of a JD as not only are its letters the reverse of JD but it goes before someone’s name not after. It comes at virtually no cost, requires almost no talent or taste, and lends itself to sleeping in and having anonymous sex with women who not only are not wearing sweaters but likely do not even own sweaters. By sourcing the “power over women” directly the DJ obviates the need for the “make a lot of money” middleman. Plus the soundtrack of their life is actually the soundtrack of their life. They lived a scored existence.

Recommendation: The fact that so many men continue to shackle themselves to the JD and ignore the DJ is a market inefficiency that will overtime converge. We would change our stance were there to be signs that JD:DJ parity was closer to occurring, such signs being the emergence of three year DJ Schools, an increase in the amount of visible giant headphones, and an uptick in the cases of gonorrhea. For now long me, DJ JD, as I have it coming and going.

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  1. June 1st, 2009 | 11:52 am

    my favorite post of the day, hands down

  2. June 1st, 2009 | 11:59 am

    Your comment has a wonderful backhand. JD shouldn’t have served to it.

  3. June 1st, 2009 | 3:41 pm

    I’m sure there’s a gay joke in there somewhere

  4. DJ SIV
    June 2nd, 2009 | 7:17 am

    this trade has been crowded for a while now: