The Tiger Syndrome

by Mr Juggles

Swine flu looks tame compared to the current disease sweeping the nation. Tiger Syndrome is the newest, most deadly, and fastest spreading epidemic seen to date. It appears to mainly affect women who date or are married to men who travel for work. The symptoms are grotesque: hallucinatory paranoia, erratic insecurity, and general moodiness. The Syndrome attacks the central nervous system of females, rendering them unable to differentiate between their husbands and famous billionaire athletes. This lack of discernment persists even when the men in question do not own a private jet, hold court in Vegas nightclubs, or appear in advertisements on national TV promoting household products.

Recommendation: If your wife or SO are at high-risk for Tiger Syndrome, it is advised you immediately stockpile tranquilizers, preferably of the fast-acting variety. Chloroform will do in a pinch (be sure to just use a pinch). These will be necessary to calm your wife or girlfriend when her symptoms flare up to the point that (your and) her own safety are jeopardized. A mutated form of this disease, the Uchitel Strain, has been spreading like herpes in a VIP room of a Las Vegas Club, but it focuses on women who resemble knock-off Barbie dolls, whose first name is the misspelled version of a common first name (e.g. Jenn vs Jen or Jammiee vs Jamie) and those who suffer from chronic duck lipitis; our research indicates that no on who has ever read this site is in the high risk group for the Uchitel Strain.

More Related Research:

POSTED: 12/16/09 10:16 AM
Comment (9)


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Comments

  1. AlcoLOLz
    December 16th, 2009 | 2:30 pm

    Are you trying to tell us something about Mrs Juggles?

  2. Jack D. Ripper
    December 16th, 2009 | 3:52 pm

    Long/Short is back, with sage advice on chicks, implants, and the occupational hazards of ballers such as TW and the readers of this blog.

    The advice is useful even to a mini-baller, not that there would be any of those reading this blog.

  3. Anal_yst
    December 16th, 2009 | 7:28 pm

    Step 1 is identifying those at high-risk for Tiger Syndrome…

  4. someguy
    December 17th, 2009 | 11:17 am

    http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/unleashed/2009/12/veined-octopus-uses-tools-coconut-shell.html

    Pls investigate.

  5. Bitchtern
    December 17th, 2009 | 4:19 pm

    A post! Christmas came early!

  6. meh
    December 17th, 2009 | 10:13 pm

    this has shattered my confidence in the remunerative Powers of OO

  7. Straight Cash Homie
    December 18th, 2009 | 11:24 am

    *******HEAD LINES********
    Tiger Syndrome Claims life: http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/12/16/bengals.henry/index.html

    Tiger Syndrome has a theme song:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gC8GTmX2G5w

  8. Johnny Debacle
    December 18th, 2009 | 4:48 pm

    Yeah he really took a DIVOT out of the turf of the remunerative powers of Oo. See what I did there? I applied golf humor to his situation and created laughter! Tiger’s Wood, indeed!! HAHA.

    Coconut is euphemism for a certain sexual act in my corner of the world. Specifically one involving an eye.

  9. Andrew
    March 21st, 2010 | 12:24 pm

    Pretty good post. Tiger Woods is certainly in a lot of trouble and there was a latest report that he was receiving text messages from a porn star or a prostitute or something similar to that.

    All in all, everyone will be fine at the end of the situation. I mean they’re frickin’ billionaires!!!

    Speaking of marriages, there was an interesting report in the media about the bus driver who won the $3 milion lottery one day after he divorced his wife. Imagine that!