Who wants a drink from the Interest Rate Hose?

by Johnny Debacle

Use My TridentLong or Short has been polling some industry contacts on the impending decision facing Ben Bernanke and the Fed as to whether they will make their move, or will make their announcement to back up their stealth move which they have already done, or will do whatever it is they do next week. We share with you the results.

Robert Sinche, currency strategist at Bank of America: “[The job report] sets the backdrop for the Fed to ease. The markets have really been torn in recent days by some signs that some of the data in August was holding up reasonably well. This data certainly sets a different tone — particularly things like manufacturing, where the export sector had been holding up pretty well.” (Source: WSJ)

Ajay Rajadhyaksha, fixed income strategist at Barclays: “I think the market’s going to be disappointed with what Fed does in September.” (Expects 25bps)

Neptune (the planet not the god): (Note: it takes a satellite about 10 years to reach Neptune, luckily we knew all this would happen almost 10 years ago and sent the USS LoS to do the interview at that time, it just got back) “Well, fall-out from the sub-prime crisis has reached the outer limits of the solar system too. I myself am deeply underwater on 4 condos in Phoenix and I don’t even want to talk about Io. Given that I’m a desolate and empty planet you would have thought it would be hard to get a loan for these speculative properties but I found it quite easy. Anyway I think it’s important for the credibility of the fed that all these foolish dummy bankers and investors learn their lesson, if the fed bails them out, all of them will just go back to buying risky assets assuming that if something goes wrong the fed will fix it. Unfortunately for earth I don’t think Bernanke will stick to his guns. Ok, have to go back to being freezing cold and lonely now, bye.”

A common dragon on the street: *FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Poseidon (the god not the movie): “If, as I have, you, mortal, had seen the ways in which the sub-oceanic mortgage crisis has ravaged the coral reefs as if Ares himself had taken his great axe to them, or the extent of the layoffs that have taken place at the shell exchanges, then you too, mortal, would see the economic imperative of reducing the above-sea-level Fed Funds rate by at least 75 points of basis.”

John Cusack: “I think they will do something. Ok, well, I’m hoping they do something. Note to the kids, never buy 75 spec houses in Las Vegas and Florida, even if you are a ‘movie star.'”

Sauron: “My prediction is that [Bernanke] will look towards making one [cut], one [cut] to rule them all. This [rate cut] would cover all of Middle Earth in [a low interest rate]. This [rate cut] would allow the orcs to move across the land, and Mordor to dominate the realm of men.”

Postmodernism: “The rate cut will be 50bps, on the nose.”

Related Reseach:

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  1. mini ballerette.
    September 11th, 2007 | 12:52 pm

    HAHAH i love this

  2. Harlem Haberdasher
    September 11th, 2007 | 3:36 pm

    If it takes 10 years to get to Neptune and you sent the USS LoS to Neptune 10 years ago, it would just now be arriving at Neptune, and would not return to earth until 10 years from now.

    I smell BS. This Neptune episode casts doubt on the validity of your other sources in this article as well.

  3. To The Hilt
    September 11th, 2007 | 4:48 pm

    What you are failing to recognize is that this article was written then. And this is now.

    “What happened to then?” you ask?

    We passed it.

    “When?” you ask?

    Just now.

    “Go back to then,” you say?

    We can’t. We missed it. Just now.

  4. PBateman
    September 11th, 2007 | 5:13 pm

    Harlem Haberdasher – clearly you are not recognizing the inherent synergies realized from utilizing Time Travel when communicating with Neptune on the USS LoS. As a result, then is now. Though in Venezuela then may be 30 minutes from now.

    To The Hilt: I’m unaware of who this imposter is named Pat Bateman(e), but I’m fairly certain he’s my metagenetic offspring resulting from a flux in the space-time continium when I looked in the mirror backwards and saw myself.

  5. September 14th, 2007 | 11:54 am

    Nice pic. I love it.

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    August 1st, 2008 | 4:18 am

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