If He Is Insuring You, and You are Insuring Her, Who is Insuring Him?

by Johnny Debacle

AIG (NYSE: AIG) is now a subsidiary of Paulson Inc, because despite being in the insurance business, AIG had a common failing of man — the inability to look within and accurately assess one’s self. But what I don’t get is why AIG didn’t just insure itself. If I were in the insurance racket, the second thing I would do would be to make sure to write an insurance policy for myself. The first thing I would do would be to leverage my expense account into a huge birthday party featuring hookers, blow, ice sculptures and midgets in Sardegna. But the second thing would definitely be the whole insure myself against ever losing money. Actually that would be the third thing. First would be the hookers and blows, second would be insuring my privates, third would be insuring myself against ever losing money.

I mean isn’t that the whole point of insurance? To make someone pay too much so they don’t have to worry about something. Well I figure being AIG, I’d be an insider and be able to cut myself a deal and not make myself pay anything at all for being insured from ever not making money.

Recommendation: If you can’t insure yourself, who can you insure?

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  1. Strattie
    September 17th, 2008 | 10:09 am

    I don’t effing get it. All the business owners I know, including my self, we have insurance so that if anything happens to us the business survives, our loved ones get $, if anything happens to the business, we have money to recover. Is that that effing hard to see or are these people not running a business, or don’t know what the eff they are doing?

    I’m with Lloyd’s cause they have been around for a while and seem to have a tight grip on what they are doing. AND I want a company that will be around if the policy comes up to be paid. Just one of those little details that’s a bit important?!

  2. Strattie
    September 17th, 2008 | 10:21 am

    So are businesses no longer in business of making money? If so, what are they in business for?

  3. st0ckp1ck3r
    September 17th, 2008 | 11:26 am

    We need to address the whole ‘lipstick on the pig’ trend. There is some value in investing in either since its such a hot topic.

    I know I can invest in hogs, but it there an investment vehicle for getting into lipstick (other than cosmetic companies)?.

    I would go long on pigs and short on lipstick.


  4. Harndog
    September 17th, 2008 | 12:44 pm

    Question Messlia Moody:

    Is AIG a whore or is the analyst who downgraded the stock today a whore or just a disease carrier (aka a virus)?

  5. Harndog
    September 17th, 2008 | 12:50 pm


    Sorry I misspelled your name, you deserve much more respect…

    Here is your old ratings:

    Ratings Methodology:
    Hey everyone! It’s me, Melissa Moody…not that other Moody’s you have been reading about. Actually that’s why I’m here I’m just so sick and tired of that other Moody! Their ratings stink, and they don’t know nearly as much as I do about debt, it’s true, I’m maxed out on 4 out of 7 credit cards I know I have a problem but I just can’t stop,ha ha. I can do a better job than Moody’s and that is what I’m gonna do! And let’s face it, their old ratings were too complicated. I mean Aa3, Baa1, Caa2, B1 who knows what that means? My ratings will be simple:

    BFFAE (Best Friends Forever and Ever)
    BFFLAF (Best Friends For Like Almost Forever)
    BFFBAS (Best Friends Forever But Also a Slut)
    BFFBIHH (Best Friends Forever But I Hate Her)

    “Johns” = Analysts

    Your pal,

  6. Jeff
    September 17th, 2008 | 4:04 pm

    You mean the CDS market was nothing more than a big circle jerk?

  7. Pleb
    September 17th, 2008 | 5:06 pm

    I’d consider long lipstick. There’s an awful lot of pigs out there, and many of them seem to have big, big mouths.

  8. RichL
    September 17th, 2008 | 9:10 pm

    If the amount of CDS’s exceed the amount of the bonds that are “insured” by a factor of 10, that qualifies as a circle jerk.

    And doubly so if the guy on the wrong side of the trade becomes insolvent.

    But the mark to market profits on all those trades for the past 5 or so years have been paid out and spent, so it’s all good!

  9. Hondo
    September 17th, 2008 | 10:09 pm

    LoS, nice Tyco-Kozlowski reference. His birthday bash location is spelled Sardinia.

    I also like the self-insurance idea, but I worry that my underwriting/risk analysis would be too thorough. Kinda like Woody Allen’s line “I don’t want to be in a club that would have me as a member.”

  10. September 18th, 2008 | 10:13 am

    Sardegna or Sardinia?

    The former has 44m results in Google, the latter 12m.

    It’s Sardegna. One day people will learn that we NEVER err.

  11. September 18th, 2008 | 1:12 pm

    Arrogance kills – any industry

  12. Size
    September 18th, 2008 | 6:31 pm

    So are businesses no longer in business of making money? If so, what are they in business for?

    Why to beg for government bailouts, of course! Where have you been?

  13. Bootsy Call
    September 18th, 2008 | 10:02 pm

    Hmm… Hondo I think you’re having a Princess Bride problem with the word “thorough”. the quote came from Groucho Marx, not Woody Allen

  14. Strattie
    September 19th, 2008 | 3:27 pm

    Jews don’t believe in handouts but yes on bailouts. … and the Rabbi wonders why I don’t come by much…