Long Sluts and Short Strippers

by Kaiser Edamame

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve posted and that’s because I’ve been entrenched in some serious due diligence on mankind’s oldest profession: prostitution. While the nationwide debate over legalizing prostitution continues, one thing remains clear, the supply-demand economics around sluts show that the services they offer are priced significantly below fair value. To better understand this mis-pricing let’s analyze supply and demand.

Now, the demand for girls who are willing to have sex with me is infinite and as a result the market is in a state of hopeless under-supply. This should lead to perpetual upward pricing pressure, however, unexplainably, the market rate for a slut’s time is surprisingly low. In fact the price of a slut per hour is actually 30-40% less than the price of a stripper, and there’s no doubt which of the two provides a more complete service.

This unexplainable price structure creates an enormous consumer surplus (email me for graphs), and an obvious pair trade.

Recommendation: I view the price of sluts as unsustainably low and therefore am Long them. Keep in mind that every 1% increase in slut prices is 10% additive to slut earnings. Not wanting to be Naked Long Sluts, I’ve hedged myself with a Short bias on strippers which I think will see immediate price declines as the value propisition of good slut is realized in the market place.

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