Make the World Better by Buying Stuff Not For Others

by Mr Juggles

Last year, we gave you, our readers, the gift of efficiency by providing you all with a guide to things you want to own. Even though prior to reading our guide, you hadn’t known you wanted these things, you quickly realized yet again that we are a better judge of what you like than you. Those things are still things you want to own, trust us, we did the research and we’re smarter than you.

As smart as we are, we know we can never rest on our laurels and have provided a version of the guide with entirely new items that you want to own. You should proceed to click through and buy all these items for yourself so that you can enjoy Christmas and reduce deadweight loss as percentage of all Christmas gift related spending. We own or consumed all these things ourselves, so we put our consumption where our internet post is.

As an aside, someone who clicked through and bought something last year also bought these two items: Clearblue Easy- Fertility Monitor Test Sticks, 30 Sticks and Clearblue Easy-Fertility Monitor. Note to the fellas: our ideas are fertile enough to impregnate your lady, so be careful.


A veritable grab bag, but all things that have improved our lives in the LTM. Let us paint the scene of what these things can do for you: A stronger grip, a firmer buttocks, a set of ripped calves (is that a good thing or a bad thing?), and a covenient notebook to record your transformation into an Adonis as you await the perfect reheating of cold pizza in your Infrawave oven. Plus a digital camera which is so small and stylish it just screams “Put me in your pocket and use me to be sketchy.”


Last year we recommended the DS and the Wii, this year we recommend everything but the PS3. People used to think that gaming in your late 20’s and early 30’s meant you can’t get laid and your heart has replaced its bloodflow with Cheeto-flow. Well the last game on our list was developed by this chick and that’s enough for us to say that video games are 100% mini-baller compatible.

Movies and Shows on DVD

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Watch it. We can’t stress 30 Rock enough. The rest are a combination of the best movies released on DVD in the LTM as well as the best movies named Robocop and The Running Man made in the 80’s.


The common thread is that there is no common thread, except that they are all in this post. We even included a comedy CD!


Shantaram was read by two us us and loved by two of us, despite it being 800 million pages longer than the average book. 100% loved out of those who read it is hard to beat.

And if all else fails, try our Amazon Prime search engine partner.

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  1. 1-2
    December 18th, 2007 | 1:51 pm

    Who is that chick you linked to? Name? Time to do some mini-baller stalking.


  2. Ignatius
    December 18th, 2007 | 7:44 pm

    Michael Chabon’s wife taught a drug policy course at UC Berkeley’s law school during my time there. I haven’t read his books, but he must have a fantastic sense of humor, seeing as he married that cunt.

  3. Howard Beale
    December 21st, 2007 | 11:07 am

    1-2: Jade Raymond

  4. Anal_yst
    December 22nd, 2007 | 8:56 pm

    If you haven’t’ read it yet I suggest “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” by tucker max.

    Brought tears of laughter to my eyes as it reminded me of my oft ridiculous shenanigans in my college years (come to think of it, shenanigans haven’t dried up yet, sweet)

  5. December 22nd, 2008 | 12:19 am

    I can’t agree more, “It’s always Sunny in Philadelphia” is one of the best shows out there….cracks me up everything..

    Charlie “the Wildcard”