Risk Aversion Reduction Therapy

by Johnny Debacle

We have a great idea that will make you (and us) lots of money. I mean boatloads. You know that scene in the beginning of Ducktales, after they talk about how “Life is a Like a Duck Blur” when Scrooge McDuck is swimming in his vault of gold? That will be you, but that vault will contains gold coins and Russian models, liquid swimmable Russian models. Think about it. Awesome right? Ok well let me get to this way for you to make millions. But first, look at this picture.

Now my plan is simple. You and I, we, WE get together and we send out letters to everyone we know, asking them to give us $100 each but also instructing them to send the letter on to other people, who will send $100 to them and $50 to us, and so on. If we pool our resources and our contacts, I’m sure we can make a lot of money. What do you think? After you consider that, I have another can’t lose moneymaking idea that just involves you flying between Colombia and Miami carrying flour for my Colombian grandmother who loves to bake with fresh Colombian flour.

Recommendation: The time is ripe for investment banks to start putting in gratuitous pictures of scantily clad women into prospectuses. We smell opportunity to finally get deals like Classmates.com done.

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POSTED: 06/26/08 10:12 AM
Comment (7)


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Comments

  1. Anal_yst
    June 26th, 2008 | 1:32 pm

    mmmmmm, fresh Columbian flour…

  2. To The Hilt
    June 26th, 2008 | 2:35 pm

    I think this was a really funny post.

    Funny because it’s true. Sign this confi and I’ll send you my most recent 144A offering circular(Hot chicks all over the place):

    Name: ___________

    Title: ___________

    Date: ___________

  3. Aspiring Mini-Baller
    June 26th, 2008 | 4:18 pm

    The picture is genius — especially after reading the link. Well-played.

  4. amused
    June 26th, 2008 | 5:54 pm

    Shocking news! most shortes stocks go down more than least shorted stocks! visit the website for the shocking details.

  5. deltahedged
    June 27th, 2008 | 3:42 am

    ponzi schemes rarely work well, but the satire is awesome! sounds a lot like a CDO…

  6. Matt
    June 27th, 2008 | 12:07 pm

    Our future lords are here!!!

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,372183,00.html

  7. JoeJim
    June 27th, 2008 | 2:59 pm

    “its … a … duck … blur …”