Twitteruesday Digest

by Mr Juggles
  • We started almost 4 years ago with almost the same approach to blogspot and it was a rousing success, rousing I tell you #
  • No idea how to measure whether this is successful today. Maybe if we end the day with more Followers than @LCDnews or save someone's life #
  • Going to the bathroom *BRB* Listening to the Clash's White Man in Hammersmith Palais and eating a Hot Pocket. #
  • Was looking for drafts in our WordPress console, there is one with no date that just says "Cow Bicep 70%". That's it. No hook, nothing. #
  • Almost want to write it. Like a challenge. Write something satirical and financial about Cow Bicep 70%. Next tweet'lll do it in 140 chars #
  • Searched GOOG for "cow bicep" + 70% and got no results. But cow bicep is strong. It should be in the results. Short GOOG. #
  • That was awful. I'm going to go take down a cow bicep Hot Pocket to recover brb #
  • What is it called when you simultaneously are jealous of and look down upon everyone around you during your commute? Adulthood? #
  • Horse race update: Of those we follow, passed @crampell in followers. How do you like me now NYT's Economix? still well ahead of @LCDnews #
  • http://flickchart.com might be the best way to destroy time since Strategic Craps http://bit.ly/10ClF9s. #
  • Tough choice, Blade Runner vs Sin City. Like which of your children do you want to be killed? Online Sophie's Choice. Sorry Sin City #
  • I wonder how many lawyers are billing $500+ while choosing between Jaws and Platoon. A tough choice btw, I gave the the shark the nod #
  • Trying to decide whether I'd hit Meredith Whitney. My main concern is that she is husky enough to hit me. Plus her roided wrestelr hubby #
  • Rookie mistake would be to bother with headshots, you need a view of the whole valley.
    http://bit.ly/OlBIL vs http://bit.ly/Uynjq #
  • The latter would be a no (that outfit scares my penis) but the former is certainly intriguing. Zebra pelt drapery + come hither = Go-Team #
  • About to conduct science experiment: I'm gonna take an online IQ test, then read Sarah Palin's op-ed http://bit.ly/75QM2, then retake test #
  • After reading the IQ test then reading Sarah Palin's Op-Ed, I lost 4 IQ points based on tests at IqTests.com. Science is about knowing #
  • Btw don't ever take IQ tests online. That site was ok but I did one where I had to click through 15 pages and uncheck 100 boxes #
  • Horse race update: @LCDnews now has 131 followers, and is rising fast. @longorshort now suicidal as 176 is looking very vulnerable. #
  • Yesterday, Jack Welch said women had to choose between kids and becoming CEO. Today, he's hospitalized. Coincidence or foul play? #
  • FYI, there are 3 of us posting, so if it gets less coherent, we'll just twitter through to the other side. Check source to follow a thread #
  • I hope you guys and gals brought your tissues and/or monogrammed hankerchiefs… #
  • "Michael, I think you and I need to have a talk…about your…performance. And the future. How is 2pm in my office? Be seeing you." #
  • "Sarah, I'm concerned that something may happen to me. What if I lose the job? How will we afford the mortgage? What about — #
  • — the baby? I want the baby to have the opportunities we never did, the picket fence, the 1.5 siblings and loving happy parents." #
  • "Mom, it's me Sare-bear. Yes, I shouldn't be sleeping with him, but Harry might be the *ONE*. When he touches me, it's like… #
  • "…it's like I'm spaghetti & he's tomato sauce. Michael's hamburger helper & I'm a pan. Mom, I'm really bad at analogies, I have to go." #
  • "Sarah, will you tell him the baby's mine? I can't believe this's happening,I thought I was YOUR ONE? Can we ever make US work after this?" #
  • "Ma, she told me it wasn't mine. She has been hiding this from me, the baby daddy is actually… #
  • "…her husband Michael. Yes I can't believe it either, she's been lying to me too. — " #
  • — We have been having an affair for over two years, I thought I could trust her. I'm alone like the sun in the morning sky." #
  • "Michael, great to see you. Mr. Stolapopalous is waiting to see you in his office. Do you want some coffee?" #
  • "Tyler, I have a difficult choice to make. Do I keep it or not? I know how it goes against what I believe but…" #
  • " …a career advancement opportunity like this doesn't come around very often. It's a huge bump in money, enough that the baby — " #
  • "– and Sarah would be set. It's just I'd be traveling so much I'd be an absentee father with no family just like Dad. Plus ca change SIGH." #
  • "I'm sorry about everything, the cheating, the lying. I just want…I want to start over Michael. I want to erase the past and act like — #
  • " — this is the very first day of our relationship. I'll make you a big romantic dinner — " #
  • "– How does spaghetti sound?" ~FIN~ #
  • The definition of "FTW" –> http://imgur.com/mCUfG.jpg #
  • Pleb:"Plz, make it stop.reading those tweets is making me more stupid,hard though that is to believe.like watching liveblogging paddleball" #
  • A lot of #cephalopod chatter, #squid invasion could be sooner than my model thought…. #
  • Response to Pleb: "That is the beauty of it. Twitteruesday — it will make you a full-on tard." #
  • Horse race update: @LCDnews now has 150 followers, I think we are safe by market close but could be in jeopardy after hours. #
  • Just worked out a great idea for Dangerous Fund II with Kaiser. This fund is even more dangerous than the first. #
  • #CIT is named after someone who's not yet qualified to be a camp counselor & school w ugliest girls in the world. Its failure is no surprise #
  • #zimbabwenomics is a top 10 source of Search engine traffic. "walruses are efficient" is top 20. #
  • Looking through email,Juggles slams on cold e-mails have worked to dissuade ppl from e-mailing us. That or the publishing industry is dead. #
  • Paleofish: "I have lost 30 IQ points thanks to Twitteruesday" #
  • To the Paleofish: Go read the Sarah #Palin op-ed, you'll lose 30 more like I did http://bit.ly/13hyi9 and http://bit.ly/1925r3 #
  • From @Anal_yst to JD: "How’s your love affair with Smith Barney going these days? Er MSSB or whatever its called?" #
  • @Anal_yst my love affair has been ended for awhile. I stopped bothering, their fees were highway robbery and no value add #
  • Smith Barney was blogged about here many moons ago http://bit.ly/jE4rM #
  • Going to test TwitterBerry from the bathroom. BRB. But also sorta not BRB because Im gonna update you while Im away. #
  • I successfully tweeted on the toilet! …uh that didn't come out right … so to speak #
  • I wonder what % of tweets happen in bathrooms. 10% would be my guess #
  • Incidentally, that is also the number of business deals closed in the bathroom. #
  • I just completed a divestiture to a strategic buyer #
  • Marketing cultist/CFA (yeah i dont get it) frm @normative comment thread just followed us, @Jakewk. Maybe he wants to sell us a Haque Bubble #
  • seriously, this is still FTW http://imgur.com/mCUfG.jpg,dominating reversal on the comeback, a comecomeback. #
  • Comecomeback probably shouldn't be said aloud. #
  • Going to check facebook and eat a snack. Thinking about what a #palin presidency would look like. What was the seuss book, the Lorax? #
  • We almost made it, will be interesting to see if our plugin will work right and post a digest post at 6pm as planned, I'd take the under #
  • Brb hot pockets #
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