We Will Never Run Out of Oil, For Reals

by Johnny Debacle

No really. Cantarell is soaring, like the Hindenberg. Perma-downers like Matthew Simmons chirp “peak oil” like a kookaburra spotting a snake or whatever it is a kookaburra chirps about up in the eucalyptus, but our “infinity oil” thesis posits that not only we will never hit so-called peak oil, we will never ever run out of oil. Never ever.

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  1. JCauto
    April 5th, 2007 | 12:33 pm

    Yes, we will always have oil. Once we suck every drop out of the ground, we will then wring it from the very sands.

  2. MGW
    April 5th, 2007 | 1:06 pm

    They already started the wringing process in Canada.

  3. JCauto
    April 5th, 2007 | 4:29 pm

    Wow, what an incredible coincidence. I had no prior knowledge of the Canadian Oil Sands, or any trusts thereof. Never never.

  4. April 7th, 2007 | 12:42 pm

    Who cares if we run out of oil? We’ll be dead by then. That’s our children’s’ children’s’ problem. Too bad for them. If they can’t find an alternative energy source by then (which are already in existence but don’t lobby well enough, or have enough money behind them), then it’s their own fault.

    I’ll assume JCauto is being facetious, since Canadian sand oil has been in the headlines since, uh, forever, and there’s lots of oil in the middle of nowhere (i.e. deserts) that’s just too expensive to access right now since there’s relatively lots of accessible oil.

  5. April 9th, 2007 | 8:13 am

    Kookaburra’s live in plum trees, here is proof:

    Kookaburra sits in the old plum tree.
    Merry merry king of the bush is he.
    Laugh kookaburra, laugh, kookaburra.
    Gay your life must be.

  6. very prestigious hedge fund
    April 10th, 2007 | 4:58 pm

    we’re fucked. seriously.