Investing at the Moment

by Mr Juggles

IM conversations at leading funds:

Analyst: I think that this maker of ball bearings is quite attractive because of its strong operating momentum, $500mm net cash position, and dirt cheap valuation of 6x fully-loaded FCF.
PM: WHAT IS THEIR SUBPRIME EXPOSURE?!?
Analyst: They don’t own subprime. Or sell houses. Or sell into housing-related markets. Or have variable rate debt.
PM: OK BUT ARE THEY EXPOSUDED TO THE SUBPRIME PRESSURE ON YIELDS?
Analyst: No
PM: I LIKE THE NAME BUT WANT TO OWN IT 10% CHEAPER
Analyst: They’re buying back 10% of shares outstanding this year.
PM: WHAT ABOUT SUBPRIME? ANY EXPOSURE THERE?
Analyst is now offline

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Comments

  1. DB
    August 1st, 2007 | 3:42 pm

    Hilarious

  2. Kyle S
    August 1st, 2007 | 3:48 pm

    So what was their subprime exposure?

  3. mini ballerette
    August 1st, 2007 | 6:09 pm

    Hahah come on now, everyone knows traders don’t (can’t?) speak in full sentences

  4. McDanger
    August 1st, 2007 | 10:04 pm

    I’m starting to suspect Mini-B is really Juggles’ alter-ego, created to vex Johnny.

    Oh Juggles, you’re dreamy…

  5. Aspiring Mini Baller
    August 1st, 2007 | 10:43 pm

    Right on McDanger. Juggles & Mini-B need to get an internet chatroom together where they can discuss inflation all night long.

  6. CAPS!
    August 2nd, 2007 | 4:13 am

    my PM IM’s in all caps too. i can’t wait until I’m a PM and get to do that. it’s like you’re constantly stressed out and yelling.

  7. August 2nd, 2007 | 11:50 am

    MB-

    There were no traders in that two man act.

  8. Mr Juggles
    August 2nd, 2007 | 1:32 pm

    I have no idea what causes PMs to IM in all caps. I am familiar with a few who email in all caps as well.

    Philosophical question: Does becoming a PM make you type in all caps or does typing in all caps make you a PM?

  9. JCauto
    August 2nd, 2007 | 2:00 pm

    Can someone please explain to the retail broker here what a PM is?

  10. McDanger
    August 2nd, 2007 | 2:14 pm

    Post meridian. Jesus.

  11. Ignatius
    August 2nd, 2007 | 2:24 pm

    Portfolio mangler.

  12. Coop
    August 2nd, 2007 | 2:56 pm

    awesome post. way to capture current market sentiment, and still remain funny. bravo

  13. August 2nd, 2007 | 4:05 pm

    Portfolio Manager.

  14. JCauto
    August 2nd, 2007 | 4:10 pm

    Good god in heaven I can’t believe I didn’t realize it was portfolio manager.

    I blame it on subprime woes.

  15. Lily
    August 2nd, 2007 | 5:14 pm

    roflcopters!

  16. To The Hilt
    August 2nd, 2007 | 5:43 pm

    what?

  17. merkin
    August 2nd, 2007 | 6:59 pm

    @JCauto

    we can’t believe it either

  18. Warenn Earl Bufet
    August 2nd, 2007 | 11:01 pm

    Mr. Juggles,

    I was saddened that we couldn’t make the merger between Barkshire and LoS a success. It sounds like things are difficult for you at the moment.

    Maybe this will make you feel better.

    Did I ever share my model of Wall Street with you?

    It hit me after sitting on a large trading floor for a couple of months.

    Have you ever been to a tidal pool at low tide? Full of immobile molluscs and clams and other bivalves.

    Wall Street is what happens when a large whale runs aground on the tide pool. Not a pilot whale or a minke, I mean a really big sperm whale or even a grayback.

    For the next six months, year, two years even, these mussels are feasting away on the bloated, decaying whale blubber.

    When they’re not, they’re talking about how smart they were in finding this big juicy morsel of whale blubber, and how their training at Harvard Law contributed to their ability to identify choice whale blubber. They talk about their structural advantages in obtaining whale blubber and their unique blubber-related insights. The more statistically oriented mussels monitor the tracking error between the amount of blubber they’re harvesting vs the overall whale decomposition rate.

    Some days, Modern Limpet Magazine comes around to photograph them and find out whose striped shirts they wear. A top 30 under 30 list is compiled.

    Then, out of the blue, the whale corpse washes away, and these barnacles are just stuck on the rock talking about how the next wave is going to bring a brand new Blue Whale back, because, you know, there’s a long-term economic need for whales to run aground.

    Come out to Omaha, we need some good people out here. My offer for the Class C shares still stands.

  19. TheUnrepentantGunner
    August 3rd, 2007 | 4:58 am

    Where are you a retail broker jcauto? sears or edward jones?

  20. Series7.5
    August 3rd, 2007 | 8:19 am

    I think PMs type all caps because of Bloomberg. It’s all mike’s fault, throwback to the days when everything was caps on the bloomie. do younger PMs do this too?

    (incidentally my PM has never used a capital letter since i have known him, but he may just be masquerading until the real PM shows up)

  21. The Dryer
    August 3rd, 2007 | 9:02 am

    ALL OF YOU GET BACK TO WORK

  22. The Dryer
    August 3rd, 2007 | 9:03 am

    Just testing to see if the typing in all caps thing moves me up from Analyst to PM. I’LL KEEP YOU POSTED.

  23. CAPS!
    August 3rd, 2007 | 10:20 am

    Dryer i LOVE it.

  24. JCauto
    August 4th, 2007 | 6:57 am

    @ Unrepentant Gunner

    Neither, and we call it retail to distinguish from institutional. I figured I’d point out I was on the retail side in a podunk city as a half-assed excuse for my ignorance. Did it work?

  25. TheUnrepentantGunner
    August 4th, 2007 | 1:09 pm

    JCauto: i was giving you a hard time, and yes your excuse did. I of course am one of the bigge(r/st)idiots here, but even the Wa-chode-ia guys know what a PM is, so I thought I’d take the easy dig.

    As an aside: probably my favorite put-down of Edward Jones I’ve ever heard went a little something like this:

    Me: “It’s about a $750,000 rollover with some outside assets, and our only real competition is Edward Jones… the guy has been working with someone there for 10 years”

    60 year old Broker in Rochester in thick italian-accented voice: “Edward Jones, who the Fuck is that? Oh yeah… I think I mighta bought a suit there once!”

    Needless to say, the business didn’t go to Eddy J.

  26. mini ballerette.
    August 6th, 2007 | 3:02 pm

    of course i’m real that’s ludicrous!

  27. Smoke and Mirrors
    August 7th, 2007 | 7:21 am

    what’s a retail broker?

  28. MTT
    August 10th, 2007 | 1:26 pm

    i think a retail broker is that guy who sits in the cafeteria on the day bonuses hit. i think they give out pens or fridge magnets or something…..