How successful has Domino’s been in bringing pooplets to market?

by Johnny Debacle

Actual image of Domino's productDomino’s (NYSE: DPZ) is widely known as a chain of delivery aligned pizza restaurants which used to use Satan as its mascot. Their new “brownie” substitute product has alternately enthralled and repelled us. According to our research, Domino’s Brownie Squares represent the first ever instance by a food company to legally market and distribute fecal matter. If you haven’t had the pictured product yet, it tastes exactly like what it resembles– glazed pooplet souffle.

This is a brilliant attempt to improve margins by selling human (animal/alien?) waste to the Drunk/Stoned market, which is known to be both price and taste insensitive. We are still trying to unravel whether Domino’s is making money coming and going, being paid to take the waste and then selling the processed waste to their customers. Either way we are attracted to what may be a delicious high margin business model for the entire food industry.

It is difficult to ascertain how successful Domino’s efforts have been at this time so if you have any experience with or knowledge of their current or future fecal delivery platforms, please share it within the comments below.

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  1. Jason
    November 14th, 2006 | 8:29 pm

    You have to credit the slick ad campaign for strong pooplet penetration. Who could view the brown staining of little girls antics of “Fudgums” and not long for some pooplets of their own?

    It could be a nice “Howdy Ho!”, just in time for the holidays, for DPZ investors.

  2. November 15th, 2006 | 10:24 am

    Given the fallout from the Satan/Noid as mascot debacle, do you have any advice as to how to best evaluate the risks of a Mr. or Mrs. Pooplet armed stand-off taking place and the subsequent impact on Dominos share price?

  3. December 20th, 2006 | 7:47 pm

    I am really glad to see something else on the pizza delivery market besides “cinna- something”. I mean c’mon how much cinnamon overkill can one actually take. Although I agree that maybe the folks at R&D could have made the product more appealing by making it look less like poop, and the marketing folks could have done a little more than have a giant fuzzy poop fudgems peddling chocolate, but hey when you’ve had enough of cinna-somethin and you’re drunk and stoned who really cares.