July 2008 LHC End of the Universe Puts

by Johnny Debacle

People are concerned about an end of existence event that may be caused by the Large Hadron Collider and there is talk when the LHC is turned on in July 2008, that a super-collision here, a super-collision there and *bam*, no more Universe. This would doubtless be an event from which most investors have not adequately protected their portfolios. That is why Long or Short is now offering LHC End of the Universe Puts. It’s a simple put option wherein the buyer retains the write to sell the Universe at a strike price of “Existing”. Based on our Black-Holes model used to value all “end of the world” options, the July 2008 vintage options are currently priced at $20.

Link to purchase

Recommendation: These options are literally the only way to protect your portfolio from the possibility that when the LHC is turned on mini-blackholes will form, come together and have a blackhole party that literally rips the (cheap) fabric of universe asunder.

Don’t let this

The Large Hadron Collider looks like this

Turn your portfolio into this

We don't know if no existence is white or black or something else, we had an internal debate over it, anyone who has experienced it please let us know tia

Related Reseach:

Ad Sense Ad Sense


  1. PDB
    April 10th, 2008 | 2:25 pm

    SOLD! Come and get em boys!

  2. Sir Charge
    April 10th, 2008 | 2:29 pm

    These being only European options.

  3. unintelligent
    April 10th, 2008 | 2:31 pm

    What”s the strike?

  4. unintelligent
    April 10th, 2008 | 2:35 pm

    (oops I missed that sentence)

  5. american bandersnatch
    April 10th, 2008 | 2:36 pm

    I used the black holes pricing model rather than the black sholes model. Unfortunately, there was trouble with Maximillian Schell and a robot and all data was lost.

  6. HF
    April 10th, 2008 | 3:00 pm

    The end of the world must be a very volatile event, so I would probably buy a stradle…
    Also when I use the Black-Holes with my ARCHEW (Autoregressive conditional heteroskedastic end of the world)volatility model indicates that the correct price for that option is not $20 but only $15… what vol is your model pricing?

  7. April 10th, 2008 | 3:16 pm

    I’d have to check JD’s work, but I assume it’s using Perf.

  8. Tom L
    April 10th, 2008 | 4:01 pm

    I’m interested in helping making a market in these if you’re open to it, but my risk manager has so far vetoed it. I haven’t found a good way to hedge them. I thought maybe quantum-delta, but it requires me to collide particles faster and faster as the event horizon approaches and our firm doesn’t have the capital to secure the required energy sources. Do you have any ideas here?

  9. April 10th, 2008 | 6:55 pm

    How do you forsee these options performing in the event of a multiple-universe environment? Can they both be in- and out-of the money simultaneously? If the options observe quantum uncertainty, how can an investor measure the value of the option without affecting that very value?

  10. Random Banker
    April 11th, 2008 | 3:15 am


    The real issue is why wasn’t the collider built in the states? Our lack of investment in our technological innovation and the education of our nation’s children is going to doom American business to also-ran status.

    SHORT American Innovation

  11. April 11th, 2008 | 3:20 am

    I think it is quite sad that the world keeps talking about the LHC opening the gates of hell or something like that. More than that, if someone have no idea of what this equipment is capable should not speak of it so carelessly. People really believe these kind of absurd statement. Even generating some good profit opportunities, the misinformation set by this discussion is really worrying me.

    Just a thought.

  12. krapital
    April 11th, 2008 | 8:17 am

    i guess the expiry date on these options are known as the end of the world?

    hows the delta on these options anyways?

  13. April 11th, 2008 | 9:15 am

    I think it is quite sad that the world keeps talking about Long or Short Capital opening the gates of hell or something like that. More than that, if someone have no idea of what this site is about, they should not speak of it so carelessly. People really believe these kind of absurd statements. Even though we always generate some good profit opportunities, the misinformation set by that earlier comment is really worrying me.

  14. The Dryer
    April 11th, 2008 | 9:24 am

    Am I the only one that sees massive counter-party risk in the event my option goes in the money and all humanity goes out the living?

  15. April 11th, 2008 | 9:41 am

    We have purchased adequate insurance to cover any concerns about counterparty risk. Everything is above board and should work swimmingly. We have the most advanced risk management techniques and practices in our space.

  16. soonindallas
    April 11th, 2008 | 9:55 am

    Notice the timeline of the article initially referring to the ‘end of the universe fears’ (it’s in DD/MM/YYYY format):

    ‘Big Bang’ machine could destroy the planet, says lawsuit

    By Tom Leonard in New York
    Last Updated: 12:01am BST 01/04/2008


  17. The Dryer
    April 11th, 2008 | 9:56 am

    Totally reassured. Thanks Juggles. Long me 500 July expiry @ $20.

  18. HF
    April 11th, 2008 | 1:03 pm

    I am curently selling a structured product linked to the leverage performance (300% leverage to be precise) of a worst off put. It works like this:

    3 x min( end of the world put; the risk of spending all the money you have because you think the world is going to end) it also includes a binary put that covers the risk the world won’t end, in that case it will pay Euribor – 5%..

  19. amtann
    April 11th, 2008 | 1:42 pm

    Is one contract 100 or 1000? How many will fit on a railcar?

    Do I need to open a trading account with Long or Short, or may I use PayPal?

  20. jag
    April 11th, 2008 | 3:18 pm

    Sweet, I am going to put all of my grandma’s savings into this product. This is a cash equivalent with ‘AAA’ rating, right?

  21. April 11th, 2008 | 6:37 pm

    do MBIA & Ambac still get AAA ratings if they fall into the event horizon. My guess is Moody’s and S&P will claim hawking radiation allows enough data about their portfolios to escape. Fitch will just downgrade 😉

  22. April 12th, 2008 | 12:57 am

    Dear Mr. Juggles,

    Please don’t take me wrong. I wasn’t questioning your post or the blog (which I really like, by the way). What I said is that the bunch of people speaking about the destruction of the planet caused by the LHC is really bad, since it is causing a massive hysteria among the less informed of us. Nevertheless, you have a very nice profit option here.


  23. April 12th, 2008 | 12:09 pm

    Felipe Fuches-

    I assure you, we take everything the right way, which is one of the reasons we are in the top Lipper quartile for three year performance in our space.

  24. unintelligent
    April 17th, 2008 | 10:39 am

    Do you have any EOW puts with Jan 09 expiration? Might take the LHC labrats a few months to get a good black hole going. Nothing ever happens on schedule.

  25. June 9th, 2008 | 4:50 pm

    $20 options, will have to investigate. Sounds similar to the Lloyds of London insurance policy taken out to cover ‘world destruction’. I suppose the Insurance company just keeps the payout tied up in court for a decade or so if they lose (to avoid payout.)

    See what 2001 Physics Nobel Laureates Dr. Cornell and Dr. Wiesman say about the possibility of micro black hole creation from a Bose-Einstein Condensate bosenova implosion (Dr. Cornell, diplomatically) “probably not a black hole, more likely…“, and (Dr. Wieman more bluntly) “I can state ABSOLUTELY CATEGORICALLY that it is totally inconceivable” then compare that with what MIT Physicists appears to be predicting in their papers. “We verify that the picture presented by Ueda and Huang is correct. For N > Nc , a “black-hole” does appear at the center of the trap

    Appear to be very different predictions. Waiting for better clarification…

    Details at LHCFacts.org -> Collider Incidents


  26. LHC
    July 13th, 2008 | 11:39 pm

    I think there are no reason to care about end of the world. The maximum what can happen its complite annihilation of France and Switzerland and global Ice Age after it!

    For security reason I suggest to the civilians in the location of this machine to leave this place at time of experiment, and the people who do this experiments to warn those people before machine start to go on full power – for them to pray!

    And this will never happen, because its stupid as a fact… Live such long time by creating such long history of human race and to reach the final step its destroying of all(except of correcting), for Nova World!??? I think God have a lot of places in hisshe’s hands to create New Worlds, or you think we dont like them because a lot of porn in internet!? OK… For example, the God is hate the porno, but why he is create them?

    K.O. Have Nice Day, France and Switzerland! 😉