A Sentence Not Written By Us in a Satirical Manner, We Swear

by Johnny Debacle

From a contest to write the worst possible opening to a non-existent short story:

Carey, unnerved by an affair that had suffered through weeks of volatility, walked unsteadily, her dress etching complex runes in the fine patina of dust along the antiquated floor, to a rose-scented box of love letters in a vain attempt to find solace, like a security fund struggling to find liquidity in the US sub-prime mortgage market.


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  1. Juan
    August 15th, 2008 | 11:13 am

    How meta, using a “non-existant” word to define its own concept. Very edgy and forward thinking, gentlemen.

  2. Anon
    August 16th, 2008 | 11:49 am

    Oh gross, I laughed in my teacup and now it’s all over the place. Even my hair got soaked. At least it was tepid… *sigh*

  3. August 18th, 2008 | 3:25 am

    I was about to leave a comment about a girl named Tempest in a C cup, but Google says that joke’s been made 52,000 times already.

    If only I were Carlos Mencia and it didn’t matter…