Long or Short Capital

In a throwaway article about drug trafficking (link) on ESPN.com, I noticed something that I found to be amazing.

GBL, or gamma butyrolactone, is sold under the counter at retailers and gyms with claims to build muscle, improve physical performance, enhance sex..

Seems consistent, nothing interesting…but then we continue..

..reduce stress and induce sleep.

These things seems to be in opposition. How can something enhance sex/improve physical performance AND induce sleep? But, wait, there’s more…

When taken orally, GBL is converted to the “date-rape” drug GHB, or gamma hydroxybutyrate.

It’s also a Forget-Me-Now pill! What’s a Forget-Me-Now? According to Gob from Arrested Development:

pills that create a sort of temporary forgettingness. So if somebody finds out how you do a trick, you just give ’em one of these, and they forget the whole thing. It’s a mainstay of the magician’s toolkit, like how clowns always have a rag soaked in ether.

These pills are the right mouse button of pharmaceuticals, capable of anything depending on the context. GBL — the one stop drug for a man who wants to enhance his sexual performance to perform date rape via the “Forget Me” method, and then still be able to sleep anxiety free later on.

Recommendation: Pending FDA approval, which we assume will come any day now for a pharmaceutical product with so many important uses, our massive stockpile of GBH will become liquid gold.