Chunnel to Nowhere

by Mr Juggles

This Chunnel tastes deliciousBuilding on the phenomenal success of the European Chunnel, government planners are coming up with more ways to inventively throw citizens’ money at a hole in the earth. In addition to the Turkish “chunnel” known as Marmamray, we have this development:

In recent months [the] governments of Morocco and Spain have taken significant steps to move forward with plans to bore a railroad under the muddy bottom of the Strait of Gibraltar. If built, the project would rank among the world’s most ambitious and complex civil engineering feats, alongside the Panama Canal and the Channel Tunnel between Britain and France.

Consider some of the benefits of the proposed Spain-Morocco chunnel :

  • The Spain-Morocco project is more ambitious than the Chunnel, which was famously delayed, over-budget, and ended up on the verge of bankruptcy. To paraphrase analrapist Tobias Funke: “These huge public works tunnels that cost tens of billions never work. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but…. but it might work for us!
  • The tunnel will connect a Muslim nation to a Christian continent, making it easier for religious dissidence to spread explosively. It’s REreconquista time!
  • Relatedly, this project will greatly increase the demand for TSA types who will be needed to inspect the cars, buses, and camels who travel through the tunnels.
  • Private investors who lost money on the Chunnel project will have their chance to recoup Chunnel losses and hit it big in the underwater tunnel investment market.

Recommendation: Long planes, Short chunnels, especially those linking Turkey to anything but mashed potatoes and gravy.

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  1. September 7th, 2007 | 10:10 am

    And short your knowledge of geography. Morocco isn’t anywhere near Turkey. 🙂

  2. Yona
    September 7th, 2007 | 10:27 am

    Definitely short US education system! Morocco is on the North of Africa while Turkey is on the other side of Europe (to the East!!!!)

    There is no need to do a tunnel from Turkey to Europe as we are already connected by land (there could be a chunnel to Greece but they won’t like it much).

  3. ian
    September 7th, 2007 | 11:00 am

    So a tunnel linking (in effect) two of the richest cities in world doesn’t make money, but a tunnel from one of the poorest parts of Spain to a third world country is going to be profitable? Are the human smugglers going to pay full price or something?

  4. Anonymous Consultant
    September 7th, 2007 | 11:00 am

    Long this new tunnel.

    Short people who don’t realize the cultural differences between the Southern Spanish and Moroccans are negligible. If Spain has a “TSA type” at all, it’s probably in the Basque Region (ETA).

  5. September 7th, 2007 | 11:27 am

    Settle. SETTLE!

    Not mentioned in the Wapo article, but I assumed people had been made aware of its existence. There is indeed a Turkish chunnel happening.

    I will edit for clarity sake.

  6. blahblahblah
    September 7th, 2007 | 1:43 pm

    Why should you go to prison for a crime somebody else noticed?

    Also, see my blog, the Bob Loblaw Law Blog

  7. Pat Bateman
    September 7th, 2007 | 3:29 pm

    “Short people who don’t realize the cultural differences between the Southern Spanish and Moroccans are negligible.”

    Wondering if you have actually been to Morocco.

  8. JCauto
    September 7th, 2007 | 8:35 pm

    Long my dream for a private tunnel linking my desk at work to my apartment.

  9. To The Hilt
    September 10th, 2007 | 9:09 am

    That’s called the subway.

    Also, short Pat Batemane.

    (The extra E was intentional.)