Congratulations on Passing Taking the CFA Level I Exam

by Johnny Debacle

Saturday was the day of days, the culmination of hundreds of hours of learning esoteric, mostly useless crap that you will now ignore for the rest of your professional careers. The Level I CFA Exam took place around the world.

To 50% of you: consider another career path! You failed to obtain Part I of your financial merit badge triforce. But thanks for making my life easier, stock brokers.

To the girl with the lucky Hello Kitty pencil case: You were so unnerved at not being able to bring your case into the exam that you probably failed, thank you for being a moron and helping the curve.

To the 20% of you who were women: Enjoy a career of persistent ingrained sexual harassment and marginalization at the hands of men who have been taught by experience and by their mothers to never trust anything which bleeds once per month or anyone who doesn’t drink and have sex with chicks. Perhaps look for related sexual harassment arbitrage opportunities.

To all those who took the CFA: Congratulations on taking the C.F.A. and guaranteeing a career of superior investment performance!

This post was calculated in accordance with the Global Investment Performance Standards

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  1. haha
    December 5th, 2006 | 9:51 am


  2. PairOfSox
    December 5th, 2006 | 9:58 am

    How many times should I take level 1 before I give up?

    Since you can take as many calculators into the exam as you want, is there some way of inserting a little camera and receiver into one of them, and have a team of analysts on the other end doing the work for you? I just need to know the answers to the ethics portion to pass, not follow them.

    Also, if you were in NY, what the hell was that ICS test?

    -One of the 20%

  3. December 5th, 2006 | 10:23 am

    The strat I am a fan of is an entire end around of the calculator loophole. Look to the glasses. A small minintaure camera placed in the glasses with the ability to transmit images to a team of 4-5 people in a van ready to answer questions (or in India to save costs), they take a snapshot of each page, divy up the questions, solve them, and then inform the test taker of the answers in order. Then onto the next page.

    Rinse, lather, pass. Probably cost $5-10k to do it right, but what is 100 hours of your time worth? Honestly, Im sure there are people doing exactly this. Its a no brainer.

    I guess they could be putting up chicken wire or jamming signals, I didnt see any.

  4. PairOfSox
    December 5th, 2006 | 2:17 pm

    That’s what I’m saying, except you can have one “calculator” with the camera inside, with the lense under the battery cover of your HP. Slip off the battery cover and then scan the whole test. That gives the other people more time to work on different problems. Then you have another calculator with a reciever that displays the question number and the answer. Obviously this will only work for Level 1 and 2.

    That must have been what the people at the Javits Center “taking the ICS exam” were doing.

  5. haha
    December 5th, 2006 | 3:33 pm


  6. poseidon
    December 6th, 2006 | 12:45 pm

    San Diego- We actually had people walking out an hour into the thing. Awesome. Also, wtf is it with people showing up with four, yes 4, calculators and 22 #2 pencils, is that really necessary? What comfort is derived from the lugging of all of that crap? Hats off to everyone who took it.

  7. December 6th, 2006 | 1:09 pm

    I’d like to point out that we appreciate all comments from Greek gods, especially those who wield tridents.

  8. AngryAnalyst
    December 6th, 2006 | 1:34 pm

    Poseidon – Why did they have to walk out? If they don’t complete or at least start the second half they don’t count the test – no aid to curve.

    In Hartford a dude had a bundle of pencils the size of small log, a guy that asked how do you work the HP12C, and a 20 Percenter that had to bring her pepper spray back to her car.

    Yes I took the exam in Hartford – now you know why I’m angry.

  9. December 6th, 2006 | 1:43 pm

    They show up, sit down, fill out the ovals and then leave. Then do the same for the 2nd half. A lot of people’s work require them to take it and pay for it.

    Hartford would be ok if it still had the Whale. Poseidon knows what Im talking about.

  10. PairOfSox
    December 8th, 2006 | 1:37 pm


    They’re just trying to fuck with your head. They’re the assholes who fill out the ovals, just after the last 30 min mark, so they have to stay for to book collection. Then they pretend to take a nap until the test is over. Before you’re let out, they start to lie about how easy the test was, just to scare you and make you feel stupid.

    Then in the second half they just fill in the ovals as fast as possible and get out of there as fast as they can so they can start drinking before you.

    That’s what I did the first time when my company made me take the test and paid for it. When I took it this time, I had to pay myself, so I actually studied.

    But this time, during half time, when the Russian dude next to me (the Russian kids always pass, and actually think the test was easy), and nerdy asian kid in back of me (I can say that because I’m half asian) started talking about the test, I just said, “Yeah, it was so much easier than I thought it was going to be. But don’t you guys think it was weird how all of the answers were ‘B’? I wish there was a question about the mosaic theory, because I think it’s the coolest part about the ethics portion.”


  11. poseidon
    December 8th, 2006 | 3:27 pm

    Cheers PairOfSox

  12. danny
    January 12th, 2007 | 10:28 am

    Most of the answers were D.

  13. V
    May 13th, 2008 | 2:04 pm

    I’m a 20% and Russian. So, I always pass and kink the curve. Awesome!