Diversify into Mackerel

by Mr Juggles

I have been stuffing my pillowcases with Krugerrands in anticipation of the bailout bill and the inflation that is surely to follow. I recommend you invest in gold, silver, and guns. Further diversification into mackerel is also desirable. This currency has the benefits of being more liquid(oriented) and tastier than the dollar. Additionally, you can already use it to purchase haircuts, food, and other items and services throughout the US*.

*prison system

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  1. Platinumfinger
    October 6th, 2008 | 1:02 pm

    Well – now I know where to go long – but what about short positions? The SEC and other regulators prohibit shorting on equities and bonds and if I buy puts I have an enormous counterparty-risk. So what should I short?

  2. Platinumfinger
    October 6th, 2008 | 1:22 pm

    Found this on Campaignforliberty.com:


    CEO – Chief Embezzlement Officer.

    CFO – Corporate Fraud Officer.

    BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

    BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

    VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.

    P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

    BROKER — What my broker has made me.

    STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.

    STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

    STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

    FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

    MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.

    CASH FLOW– The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

    YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

    WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

    INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.

    PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.

  3. mac wolf
    October 7th, 2008 | 11:05 am