Do Charles Tyrwhitt shirts destroy shareholder value?

by User Submitted

Submitted by user KB

A geographic information system correlation analysis

Fact: Charles Tyrwhitt New York City store #1 is located at Madison Avenue & 46th Street, on the ground floor of the ex-Bear Stearns corporate headquarters

Fact: Charles Tyrwhitt New York City store #2 is located at 7th Avenue & 50th Street, on the ground floor of the ex-Lehman Brothers corporate headquarters

Fact: Bear Stearns is toast

Fact: Lehman Brothers is even toastier

Discussion: While further research is required to determine the exact linkage between Charles Tyrwhitt shirts and recent examples of the massive evaporation of shareholder value, the correlation trend is undeniable. Potential catalysts for Charles Tyrwhitt based shareholder value evaporation include bank risk officers spending their afternoons perusing between 100s of shirts in various cuff, collar, and color/stripes combinations instead of properly valuing CDO securities, an “uppity” British attitude permeating the entire building like the smell of a “5-dollar footlong” from Subway left to rot hidden inside the desk of your work nemesis, or some other, more sinister reason. Our crack team of CFA-certified researchers in Mumbai will stay up for the rest of the month running numbers to further isolate the direct causation between value evaporation and Charles Tyrwhitt, so please look out for our next research blast.

Recommendation: Short anything with a geographic proximity to Charles Tyrwhitt.

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  1. Marton
    September 26th, 2008 | 8:40 am

    Does not compute for London – neither the Jermyn Street store nor the Bow Lane store are next to a large bank…
    (Well, my firm is only 3 minutes from Charles Tyrwhitt, but you can’t short it – it’s privately held by a billionaire…)

  2. MN
    September 26th, 2008 | 9:12 am

    There’s a StanChart on Jermyn Street and Barclays on the corner with Regent St.

    Also, is Tyrwhitt actually a premium brand in the US? I don’t think I’ve ever walked past it without seeing some kind of special offer or promotion. TM Lewin too.

  3. FX_rules
    September 26th, 2008 | 9:55 am

    Hilarious! I own 10 CT shirts, but work in Minneapolis. There’s no CT shops here, so I’m safe. I guess all you Ivy League types are going to have to move here!

  4. JCauto
    September 26th, 2008 | 11:09 am

    I don’t know about shareholder value, but I do own one CT tie and three shirts, and they suck.

  5. HelicalZz
    September 26th, 2008 | 11:28 am

    I have it on good authority that a randomly packaged unmarked box presumably full of CT shirts, ties, and sundries were recently shipped to every member of congress and employees of the treasury. The shipment was sent COD and stamped with ‘do not open until recession clears’.

  6. Hondo
    September 26th, 2008 | 10:25 pm

    Tyrwhitt also has stores in Kuwait City and Singapore. Link to list of their stores:

  7. Dsylexic
    September 29th, 2008 | 7:38 am

    I dont think the Mumbai CFA guys need to be disturbed .Plenty of cheap labor available in Manhanttan right now.I would like a reverse auction to sell this to the lowest bidder

  8. September 29th, 2008 | 4:25 pm

    CT shirts def much better than Brooks Brothers non-iron, think I’ve ripped at least 4 elbows out on those bad boys (yet continue to buy them, apparently I’m a glutton for punishment and/or too lazy to walk across the street to the dry cleaners?)

  9. Novice
    September 29th, 2008 | 4:59 pm

    Anal, BB slim fit is the only cheap, off the rack shirt for lazy fucks who are tall yet aren’t built like Hank Paulson. How do CT’s shirts fit, and, echoing MN, are they any good?

  10. No Tickie
    September 29th, 2008 | 5:16 pm

    Anal, you’re wearing the wrong size shirt if that’s happening with any regularity. If you’re already constrained to that size in BB by chest or neck fit requirements, then try another brand.

    And yes, stop being a cheap/lazy fuck: don’t buy no-iron and walk them across the street to the cleaners like a bloody adult. Or marry a traditional type of girl, but don’t get her pregnant until you’re ready to have kids.

  11. Novice
    September 29th, 2008 | 7:26 pm

    No Tickie: the cleaners are often a hobson’s choice between several days late or damaged. The in-sourcing is a good suggestion, but you can’t always find girls who’ll accept the ‘You iron and I’ll carry something heavy’ trade. Do you have a third suggestion that doesn’t involve moving my parents up here or drastically lowering what standards I have?

  12. Mr Siv
    September 30th, 2008 | 8:13 am

    I think you’ll agree this is a suitably radical solution to the problem 🙂

  13. american bandersnatch
    September 30th, 2008 | 5:18 pm

    If you have a choice between late or damaged, is it really a Hobson’s Choice?

  14. Novice
    September 30th, 2008 | 6:12 pm

    Sophie’s choice, hell. And just as grave as the original example.

  15. american bandersnatch
    October 1st, 2008 | 4:59 pm

    Concur. I still grieve for some of my better shirts that met an untimely end with some hack handed dry cleaner.

  16. Charles
    October 1st, 2008 | 8:28 pm

    There’s a good dry cleaner at 79th and lex that has never ruined a shirt of mine and is likely no more expensive than yours. they also pick up and deliver. Probably not your neighborhood though.

    tyrwhitts are the only british shirtmaker that does non-iron as far as i can tell. it’s always good to own a couple of such in case one is in middle america without a laundry but for value in my mind you can’t beat the bergdorf sale. i bought three shirts (two house line, one zegna) there in solids and straightforward patterns for a total of $350…would have been twice that at full price. also a solid kiton tie for $79. clearly some mini-ballers weren’t mini-balling this summer.


    p.s. with regard to structural failures on your shirts i would suggest buying them to fit your arms and then getting the collar/shoulders/sides taken in. This costs $20 at any tailor and will drastically prolong the life of your BB shirts and also make them look better, all for less than $100 total.

  17. October 1st, 2008 | 10:12 pm

    I’ve been told (from friends who’ve had the same elbow blow-outs on BB shirts that’ve actually taken them back) that when you just lump all your shirts into a pile @ the dry cleaner, they (rather unsurprisingly) treat them all the same, i.e. they press the non-iron shirts, which by the magic of modern chemistry, somehow decreases their structural integrity at key points.

    Sounds like bullshit to me, but hell I only took AP Chem, apparently the schmuck working the counter @ the WTC Brooks Brothers went all the way to the advanced polymers and coatings.

  18. msb
    October 7th, 2008 | 1:37 pm

    some coworkers have had problems with BB shirts, i haven’t

    similar question – how often am i supposed to get my dress pants cleaned?