History doesn’t repeat, or rhyme, IT RAPS

by Johnny Debacle

Infectious Greed posted about a blog which is harvesting 1930’s WSJ news pieces and headlines. The natural inclination from reading these frequently spot-on pieces is as a commentary on how history either repeats or rhymes. This natural inclination, just like the natural inclination to be overwhelmingly attracted to Gadget from Rescue Rangers, is wrong. History doesn’t repeat or rhyme, IT RAPS. And this is how it raps.

Jay-Z rapped 99 Problems to this historical current

The year is ’09 and your world is gone
You’ve just realized you’re alone, broke an’ one dumb pawn.
The financial forces y’all trusted are total shit,
That Ben behind the Fed curtain is not legit.
I ain’t trying to see no returns erased with Me.
We’ll head now to your situation, cut to the chase quickly.
Broker calls, “Son, do you know why your statements say zero”
‘Cause I’m young and I’m dumb and from Toledo?
Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don’t know.
Are you jerkin’ me off or should I guess some mo’
“Well you was overweight emerging markets like a schmoe.
Now you’re broke, and can’t afford your new McHouse or car.
Are you hidin’ any cash in your mattress, I know a lot of you are”
‘I ain’t done nothin’ wrong, it is someone else’s bullshit.’
“Well do you mind if I look at your finances a little bit.”
‘Well my car is leased and my house is underwater,
And I know my rights so the Govt gonna bail me out o’ there.’
“Aren’t you dumb like Nails, you some type of retard or something?”
Or a real mouth-breather or somethin’?”
Nah, I ain’t no rere, I passed my GED,
Smart enough to work for Ohio’s DMV.
“We’ll see how smart you are when the squid lord comes”
You got eleven trillion problems and squid is THE one.

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  1. June 25th, 2009 | 6:12 pm

    How drunk/high/both were you when you came up with this, preytell?

  2. June 25th, 2009 | 9:56 pm

    I plead the Fifth.

  3. Legal Eagle
    June 26th, 2009 | 1:44 pm

    When can we see the video on You Tube?

  4. Bitchtern
    June 26th, 2009 | 1:49 pm

    Agreed. I think that needs to be made into a music video. I will sign on now to direct.

  5. June 27th, 2009 | 10:53 am


    58 second mark to the 2:00 mark

    The DJ Dangermouse mash-up remix might fit better.

  6. June 30th, 2009 | 8:35 am

    Well, sirs — It resonates with me, cuz that’s exactly how I roll.