Long or Short Capital Announces a Delay in Filing Fourth Quarter Financials

by Mr Juggles

Long or Short Capital will not be able to file its financials at this time due to several accounting irregularities which have been brought to our attention. Chief among them is an issue concerning our cash balances. Our cash on our quarterly basis does not line up with our annual changes. As you know, according to SAAP, this is a problem that can usually be cured by merely choosing which number seems more appropriate. Other solutions include “making it up” or “embezzling the difference.” To ensure that we effect the best possible outcome for Long or Short and its subscriberholders, we plan on retaining the services of an external accountant who is fully versed in SAAP and can advise us on the proper steps to take.

We assure you that we do have cash (somewhere) and that there will be at most a $1 million change in our cash balance as a result of these irregularities. Based on all the Qs and Ks which we have read, $1 million isn’t much, so there is no reason for concern. We appreciate your patience in waiting further for our financials.

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  1. JCauto
    August 19th, 2007 | 2:09 am

    I am currently shorting your dividend

  2. who knew
    August 20th, 2007 | 2:35 am
  3. who knew
    August 20th, 2007 | 2:38 am

    US credit crunch “unbelievable” – Swiss central bank chief


    Swiss central bank chief Jean-Pierre Roth sharply criticised the US economic system after the home loans crisis that caused turmoil on world financial markets.

    “Something unbelievable happened,” Roth said in an interview in the Swiss newspaper NZZ am Sonntag.

    The chairman of the Swiss National Bank indicated that he did not foresee a swift end to the crisis triggered by the US sub-prime, or high-risk, home loan market in the United States.

  4. who knew
    August 20th, 2007 | 2:52 am

    The Fed just cut the premium at Benny’s Pawn and Discount Drive Up Window for Problem Children — a mean, futile, and stupid gesture.


  5. short mcshort
    August 20th, 2007 | 2:04 pm