My Get Out of Racism Card
by Surname T LegacySo while everyone in my state was voting HRC or Huckabee or whoever, I said, why don’t I do what’s best for the country? After I laughed, I concentrated on doing what was best for me. I voted for Obama. Why would a WASP do such a thing? The answer is simple — it is a get out of racism card.
Previously, I could only use the “Hey I can say that because I have a black friend (he’s really a mulatto but that counts, look it up)” when saying something that lacked racial discretion or oppressing people on a racial basis. Now I can say “It’s cool, brother, I voted for Obama” or “How can I be racist? I voted for Obama!” or “I’m practically your [n-word], since I voted for Obama.”
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The beauty of the secret ballot is that I can play that card too, without potentially ruining the world.
Funny, though.
@ hilt
Have you seen “Hacking Democracy?” Them Diebold machines aint exactly “secure”, kind of like SocGen risk management software really
This is great. Now I can say I was in the military because I voted for McCain.
@ Anal_yst,
No I haven’t seen it.
I guess I’m operating under the assumption that the guy who accuses me of being a racist will not be able to trump my “I voted for Obama, therefore I am not a racist” card by whipping out his blackberry and hacking into the national database to access my voting history, toute de suite. I could, however, be wrong.
My racism hedge may be fake like Kerviel’s were, but I still think it offers great downside protection for the cost.
@ hilt
Fair enough, and if you were capable of that (I’m sure there are instructions on the interwebs), I’d be interested to learn.
Kind of like my “i’m a good person” hedge, i.e. donating to breast cancer research, which, if you think about it (as mentioned on these very pages), is really an investment made almost purely out of self interest…
Obama IS a mulatto - his mom is a white girl from Kansas. That’s why I say - I wrote in Al Sharpton to support by bros from other hos.
suggest that based on demographics you probably weren’t interested in most of the breasts that got cancer anyway. the incidence for women in their 20s and 30s is acceptably low vs the opportunity cost of not investing in impants instead
That’s all well and good. I, on the other hand, choose to wear my “Eracism” t-shirt with the yin-yang on it every day. When my boss comes around and says, “aren’t you supposed to be wearing a shirt and tie?” I respond, “FUCK YOU, RACIST!”
Works every time.
If not a racist why bother needing an excuse?…anybody who calls or thinks I am one is inevitably a prick anyway.
@ tima
actually its a preventative measure my boy. If you invest in curing/preventing breast cancer, you can assure that the breasts you know & love, will continue to love you back, and that there will not be more instances of the breast plague in the younger demo which demands most of the attention
breasts are people too!
I hate to point out that although somewhat humorous at times this post is sort of offensive. the very concept comes from a place of racial ignorance and some of the commentary, i m talking about you Arbitrageur, clearly needs re-evaluation. Arbs dumb ass joke about bros and hos is about as funny as the lynch tiger woods joke on the golf channel. Get ur head out of ur ass bud.
Racially aware: I think you need to be racially aware in order to recognize the context of such statements. The comment about Tiger Woods might have been insensitive, but I doubt the woman that made the comment intended it to be. Nevertheless, she made the statement on national cable television. Arbitrageur’s comment was a post on a website that nobody visits…
We prefer comments that are not from your high ho(r)s(e) har har har!
We’ll just shut them down for the post. And clearly people visit us! More people read us than watch Fox Business News…..