Alright Juggles, that post needed some punctuation – I’m now going long fragments, short run-ons . . . . ok forget that, I just tried to write a fragment and almost died of awkwardness. I’m now short run-ons, long imperatives. (you) Deal with it.

I’m also overweight interjections. BOOYAH!!

And shorting What the Bleep Do We Know!?.

Scientology is destined for a bounce once I get Clear, head to OT® 13 and embrace my Operating Thetan. I’m auditing, baby.

What the Bleep Do We Know!? is the new goto mysticism cult for the people who are easily misled, confused or who seek out quick-serve spirituality. DVDs featuring deaf chicks in surrealist fantasies and blond-haired middle-aged women channeling 35,000 year old fictional deities while talking about Quantum physics will not get you closer to the Truth. Sorry, but this is a proven fact. If you consider this movie transformational lifewise, submit your email to me so I can Short you. Now.

Two hydrogen atoms meet.

One says “I’ve lost my electron.”

The other says “Are you sure?”

The first replies “Yes, I’m positive.”

Long: Limes
Short: Lemons

This is the pair trade of the year. I am so long limes.

I overheard JD discussing his Long or Short Capital marketing optimization strategy with Dr. Gupta, who had asked about our transition from our old Blogger home:

“Overall, this strategy has led to a runrate of Google hits which has doubled for [LongorShortCapital.com] vs [LongorShort.blogspot.com]. We have lost the SE query flows from “Short Mexican Joke” and “Sexy Chinese,” but I think we’ll survive, especially because “Scone” and “”Short Goog” have been so strong for us.”