Racialistness

by Kaiser Edamame

Last week I attended two concerts at Madison Square Garden: Eminem/50 Cent and Neil Diamond. Both were great shows and I fit in well at both in my pin-stripe suit and Hermes tie (my Hermes tie is sweet, seriously).

After attending these shows I’ve decided something important about the difference between Caucasians and African-Americans: White people have respect but no soul. Black people have soul but no respect.

Neil Diamond is a great person and his songs show respect for love (“September Morn”), his country (“We’re coming to America”), and blue jeans (“Forever in Blue Jeans”); but sadly Neil Diamond does not have a soul – and it’s pretty obvious to anyone who was at that show.

Mr. 50 cent, on the other hand, now his singing and dancing are filled with soul but his song titles show pretty obvious disrespect for young ladies (“Surrounded by Hoes”), drug addicts (“High all da time”), and gangsters (“You ain’t no gangsta”).

If anyone has any ideas on how to combine the respectful attitude of Neil Diamond with the rhyming soul of 50 cent please email me at kaiseredamame@gmail.com.

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