Saturday Night’s Alright

by Kaiser Edamame

I go out on Saturday night and being that I’m awesome and that my company’s eye insurance lets me buy excessively expensive eyewear, I decide to wear sunglasses to the bar. I’m on the upper east side and there are hot babes everywhere. I’m chatting up one of the hot babes when a meathead from Long Island comes over and taps me on the shoulder. He says to me:
“Hey, only two kinds of people wear sunglasses inside, blind people and assholes.”

So I quip back, “I’ll give you one guess which one I am.”

Then he punched me in the face. Now I have two black eyes and a broken pair of really expensive sunglasses, but boy was I clever. What I learned is that being skinny, clever, good looking and rich is a tough combo in a bar full of meatheads with nothing to lose.

Recommendation: Long me and my sunglasses, short poor people and tough guys.

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  1. January 10th, 2007 | 11:09 am

    If it weren’t for this post, I wouldn’t know how to use the $400 left in my FSA account by the end of the month. I would have bought $400 worth of advil and zantac for hangovers.