Short Timothy Sykes, Long Reason

by Mr Juggles

I don’t get him, his relevance or why he continues to amuse people. But Tim Sykes certainly exists. I know this because he emailed me.

Hey there, how are you? I’m blogging like a madman and loving every second of it! I’m putting together a huge list of money/finance/trading/investing blogs/websites to be called ‘TIMlinks’ so I wanted you to join. It’s free and once I start promoting this baby, you should get dozens or even hundreds of daily visitors to your site—kinda like FeedTheBull, Entrecard or Blogrush, but for our target audience only Check it out:

After your join, to get ranked, you’ll be emailed code for a ‘TIMlinks’ badge, just add it anywhere on your site and you’ll be set!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Timothy Sykes | Author of An American Hedge Fund
T| F |

It’s telling that his system is identical to every splog and SEO-only oriented link trading request we get. They link you from their non-main page, you link them from your main page. A great deal! We should get hundreds of links a day from a separate links page buried within a mediocre site! Seems probable.

We don’t do reciprocal link trading or such things. If it’s a site we read and if it’s one we think deserves to be linked, we link it. Feel free to do the same but we won’t be adding a badge or trading links.

Mr. Juggles

You will agree with me when I say that I tried to be polite.

Haha ok

His repsonse naturally raised the question to me “What was funny in that?” As a master of humor, normally these things make themselves aware to me. In this case, it did not. Naturally my reply was:

What was funny in that?

From Timmy:

u just sounded so serious, i’m just trying to help increase the popularity of the sites i like by giving them this badge of honor

More like a scarlet letter.

A badge of honor, Tim? Really? We take everything we do very seriously, that’s one of the reasons we do it better than anyone else. Maybe you should start practicing your seriousness and take your site to the next level. Again, you are free to link to us and we encourage you to do so — it is likely to your readers benefit. We won’t link to you until you have created a site worth reading, one that we also happen to read.

I expected more laughing and something non-intelligent from his next reply. I was not disappointed.

LOL, being serious and the best is the exact opposite of what I’m going for, all I wanna do is teach and entertain, aka actually help people understand this stuff better! All you finance snobs forget 99% of the people out there have little to no education and thanks to the ridiculous importance you place on always being the best, people believe mistakes are just about the worst thing you can do. Wrong! I like some of your articles, but take it down a notch, you’ll live a happier and more fulfilling life!

My reply:

Teaching and especially entertaining are both things which benefit from being taken seriously. No one learns anything from someone who is taking a half-ass dimwit approach to teaching. Worse, no one is entertained or is made to laugh by people taking a half-ass dimwit approach to humor.

Mistakes are ok, but mistakes that should have been avoided but weren’t because of sloth or lack of diligence are horrible and should be treated as such. They are entirely avoidable by people who take things seriously. Life is a very serious thing. We are all dying. Asset management is even more serious than life.

Mr. Juggles

Timmy’s reply:

Solid reply but you forget that the vast majority of people out there are lazy and dim-witted. For them, the very thought of long complex calculations and ramblings from boring finance people is equatable to prison. What do we do, ignore those people and laugh at how much better we are?

No, I believe those people can and should learn about the stock market and since Penny Stocks are pretty simple things to understand, it’s a great intro. And, I can help them avoid the mistakes I’ve made, lessons I was forced to learn alone because there was nobody in the entire snobby/stuck up world of finance who ever detailed their stupidity for all to learn from. Again, stupidity/mistakes–nothing to be ashamed of, we all make stupid mistakes at one time or another, the key is learning from them and sharing them right alongside our greatest victories. Welcome to my business model: brutal honesty. It’s sad that this is revolutionary, but thanks to the kind of people in this industry, there’s a massive window of opportunity. Thanks again!

Played Out

Recommendation: Timmy is a blackhole. A blackhole of knowledge, understanding, financial acumen, reason, emails and time. If you have not yet crossed the event horizon of Timmy, keep back. At best, he is played out. At worst, you will lose brain matter as it is stretched to infinity, taken to the speed of light and crunched into a superdense nothingness.

Related Reseach:

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  1. Anton
    April 7th, 2008 | 7:51 pm

    Dude, you’re such a loser to document everything, even exposing his phone numbers. What a dumb ass! Leave the guy alone, let him entertain. Geez, couldn’t spare a link, la dee da!

  2. Ignatius
    April 7th, 2008 | 7:55 pm

    This reminds me of the hitchhiker who, having been denied, switches from thumb to middle finger.

    He’s too good for this janky ride, anyway.

  3. April 7th, 2008 | 8:06 pm

    #49, woah, don’t be a typical wall street ANALyst and do some resarch before drawing conclusions, u’ll see Bien just found my site after he’d be down that much, as is typical for most small investors/traders…i preach conservative penny stock trading, and yes, there is such a thing

  4. Aspiring Mini-Baller
    April 7th, 2008 | 8:47 pm

    For the record, Tim Sylvia’s website is NOT TIMwhatever. I don’t want any loyal MMA fans to be mislead. Also, his myspace is Tim, you should really get a haircut.

  5. Butters
    April 7th, 2008 | 9:33 pm

    Peak Sykes?

    13 posts in 11 hours may be the point where Tim realizes he’s, “got too much to do to edit emails/blog comments…” A period of contracting Sykes will follow, supporting a short position. Time to go back to MSNBC for Britney Watch ’08

  6. TheUnrepentantGunner
    April 7th, 2008 | 10:29 pm

    Jcauto: the 2 yes, the 20, not so much…

  7. April 7th, 2008 | 10:37 pm

    You guys all need a stiff drink and a good lay, this is a sad and pathetic display… (look at that! Free style rhyme)…no but seriously

  8. BSD
    April 8th, 2008 | 1:48 am

    I would be long Pretentious Prick Capital t-shirts on CafePress. Think about your subscriberholders, you coked-up rich daddy’s boys.

  9. militantpedestrian
    April 8th, 2008 | 8:30 am

    was this guy sykes ever relevant? thank the cartesian evil genius that he’s been relegated to the nether corners of internet spamming, i’m embarrassed on behalf of the non-satirical financial press for ever having directed my valuable attention to his flim-flammery.

  10. April 8th, 2008 | 9:22 am

    Ha, you’re right, how can it be relevant that 99% of people know nothing about the stock market. or worse that 99% of people in the finance industry are full of it! just wait #59, i’m young determined and know EXACTLY what i’m doing, i’m just getting warmed up…

  11. To The Hilt
    April 8th, 2008 | 9:49 am

    Tim, please go away.

    Disclosure: knowing Sykes’ tendancy to stalk comment sections of posts about him, I went long this comment section @ 2. I couldn’t post a comment for fear of accusations of market manipulation. Having closed out my position @ 60, and sitting on a nice pile of satirical money units, I am now free to do so. I do think there’s still a little more upside in this comment section, but why get greedy? Hopefully, there is some downside when MR. J gets so sick of Sykes he goes back and deletes all his comments.

  12. April 8th, 2008 | 9:57 am

    I think the money units are actually only abstract not satirical. The abstract to satirical fx spot market is at 25 Perf.

  13. To The Hilt
    April 8th, 2008 | 10:01 am

    hedged the fx risk out.

    Damn, I wish I hadn’t sold!!

  14. Toro
    April 8th, 2008 | 12:05 pm

    “i preach conservative penny stock trading, and yes, there is such a thing”

    I preach safe BASE jumping.

  15. mary
    April 8th, 2008 | 2:17 pm

    Tim- first I can’t believe you respond to so many of the comments posted here. Second- stop it. Third- Your original accomplishment was impressive, but that was then. Your endless and shameless self-promotion since then is just too much. Too too much. Fourth- Please don’t be upset with, as you put it so eloquently, the “coked-out rich daddy’s boys, aka wall street ANALysts.” It is clear you so desperately wanted to be one of them until they didn’t let you into their party (see: Trader Monthly).

  16. April 8th, 2008 | 3:19 pm

    LOL, Mary, I’ll never stop, in fact, I’m just beginning. I love cutting through all the industry BS too much…proving that penny stock trading is a worthy pursuit and most importantly, it’s great making six figures…possibly-soon-to-be-seven-figures just by preaching what I know to be true.

    After all, self-promotion can be a good thing if you have a good message, right?

  17. April 8th, 2008 | 3:21 pm

    PS Even Traitor Monthly is far and away better than the coked out ANALyst profession, they’re at least traders who live and die by their trades, not salesmanship…salesmen are pure scum

  18. Peter
    April 8th, 2008 | 3:46 pm

    so my 2 cents –
    Thanks Tim now I why most of the public HFs do so bad – dude – were you really really serious about penny stocks? Tell me one serious investor who invests money in them? They are simply still exchange listed and worth a piece of dog poop unless you are the one who tries illegally to manipulate their value
    btw – thanks for promoting this awesome site – your visitors will see very soon what kind of douche you are
    The small difference between your site and this – there are about 10000 sites like yours but only few like this one – and don’t tell me that you have to be genius to understand the content of this site – I don’t have a degree yet and can still follow without trouble every single post here

  19. April 8th, 2008 | 4:08 pm

    Yes, penny stocks are horribly manipulated pieces of crap–why do u think my strategy is to short them when they get manipulated/spike! c’mon do 5 min of due diligence, pleaseeee…nobody else is promoting short selling them, that makes me unique

  20. Hmmm
    April 8th, 2008 | 5:08 pm

    You are admitting to self-promotion yet all of the promotion is meant to increase business for your blog, book, etc. Therefore, you are a salesman for your business and are also “pure scum”.

  21. April 8th, 2008 | 5:28 pm

    At the risk of rustling up the Tim-troll, could someone explain to me how it is that a penny-stock strategy that he admits doesn’t scale for shit in his own portfolio suddenly becomes scalable when shared with his dozens of readers?

    I’ll not be holding my breath awaiting an answer (from Timmah or one of his doppelgangers, the only ones who’d pretend to try), and I apologize in advance for bringing the thread back to life.

  22. born to lose
    April 8th, 2008 | 5:36 pm
  23. April 8th, 2008 | 5:38 pm

    Haha “admitting self-promotion” as if it’s a disease. You morons don’t get it, it’s my business to teach other others to make money trading, I do that through showing I do it myself. Salesmen don’t show they do it themselves, they are in the business of convincing others through analyzing OTHER people’s hard work. There is a difference.

    Correct, my strategy isn’t scalable past a few million dollars, good thing I teach to approach positions from all angles, depending on their personalities…and surprise you get an entire community playing penny stocks based on their own strengths and weaknesses, a) increasing market liquidity, b) increasing market volatility…add A + B and you get increased scalability..

    You pretentious pricks forget that thanks to decades of people EXACTLY like you, outsiders know little of how to profit…until now, these suckers have financed your lavish lifestyles, now the game gets flipped, not all the way, but a bit…you forget how many people would kills to know how to make a few thousand, maybe even tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars from this game

  24. Eeeks
    April 8th, 2008 | 7:44 pm

    I think Timmy posts as Random Banker on dealbreaker. Those emails had the exact same non-logic that Random Banker spews!

  25. arbman
    April 8th, 2008 | 9:22 pm

    each of Tim’s comments gets less coherent than the last one – this is great, its like watching a train wreck in real time.

    oh no!! im so PRETENTIOUS!!! i noticed the obvious!!!!

  26. April 8th, 2008 | 10:29 pm

    ahh thats the beauty of my strategy, its so easy, it doesnt matter what i say, i just gotta get people interested…which u pretentious pricks have, thanks!

  27. Peter
    April 9th, 2008 | 3:01 am

    dude – what’s your f-ing problem?
    I really wonder: Don’t you really get it that this site has simply a totally different approach and audience than yours and yes you are a salesperson – even if you don’t sell anything, your site is full of ads – this site and most of its links are to blogs an forums where people simply want to discuss things and communicate and don’t care about showing someone how to trade but simply want to exchange their views and laugh about some dudes like you in (or wannabes) finance. If you don’t get it….
    You may answer, but I won’t feed your trollish behaiour any longer

  28. April 9th, 2008 | 9:20 am

    I’ll always respond to my critics, I have no life whatsoever, building my business, cutting through all the BS, thats all I do….when Pretentious Prick Capital exemplifies the industry BS, I arrive at the scene

  29. JCauto
    April 9th, 2008 | 10:17 am

    First you say that you think anyone that “sells” anything is scum.

    Then you say on your own site:
    I know many of you wish I wouldn’t promote my book An American Hedge Fund and my 6-hour instructional trading DVD PennyStocking so hard, but then again, you’ve no idea the number of dumb/similar questions I get on a daily basis—which actually inspired me to get into this biz–so getting people to buy these products not only helps pay my bills (I have no problem admitting that because I believe it’s exceptional value in that it pays for itself in 1-2 successful trades), but it also makes my job explaining everything exponentially easier.


  30. Charles
    April 9th, 2008 | 12:28 pm

    I’m short reason right now…all the momentum seems to be to the downside. Hope that doesn’t mean I have to be long Tim Sykes.

  31. April 9th, 2008 | 12:40 pm

    I think anyone who sells a firm’s products cuz they are corporate drones too afraid to go out on their own because they want that steady paycheck are scum…I created my product from scratch, all it is is honest information and the experiences, lessons and theories that have made me a millionaire, I didn’t even know I’d ever be sharing it with anyone…it’s funny where life takes you.

    Mind you I admit I’m not only immature but I get defensive because of all the people who “know” I’m lying…which just pisses me off since my entire biz model is brutal honesty…but the good news is I have nothing to hide, frauds can’t act out cuz they’re always walking on eggshells, I can say whatever the hell I want and get away with it cuz u may not like me but by god if u ever trade a penny stock or want consistent gains on small sums of capital, u need me

  32. To The Hilt
    April 9th, 2008 | 1:25 pm


    To paraphrase you: “anybody who sells a firm’s products because they want a steady paycheck is scum.”

    But you are an admirable guy, because you’re just trying to help the little guy?

    Almost every participant in the world economy, little guys included, is involved in one stage or another of selling his firm’s products, whether his firm is a wall street bank, a car manufacturer, or a family farm. That’s what makes the world turn.

    What is it that you do exactly that adds value to society? Oh right, you’re a living, breathing infomercial for some ridiculous scheme trading stocks. Have you ever considered what the consequences of a little guy, someone without your considerable investing talent , followed your advice and lost his kids’ college money? No, you don’t care, because you got $15 bucks for selling him your book.

    What is wrong with you?

    To any serious finance professional, to those you label pretentious pricks, you are a joke, but to society in general, you are something far worse: you’re dangerous.

    And not in a good way like Maverick. You won’t be shooting down all the migs in the end of this movie. You’ll be losing all your money, probably, sadly, other peoples’ money. Again.

    The sooner you fade away, the better. Have a nice day.

  33. Platinumfinger
    April 9th, 2008 | 1:27 pm


  34. Platinumfinger
    April 9th, 2008 | 1:38 pm

    of course the comment is addressed at Tim, but honestly Hilt, don’t you think that someone without any knowledge about finance who is that greedy that he puts his money into trading with Tim doesn’t deserve to lose it? Of course the public mutual funds are a rip off but still way better than Tim’s “magic” unscaleable stategy.

  35. To The Hilt
    April 9th, 2008 | 1:57 pm

    I think the person who spills coffee on himself deserves to get burned, but then mcdonalds doesn’t advertise that their coffee won’t burn you.

    My post may sound a little leftish, which I certainly am not, but the intent was to point out the incongruity between his message and his method.

    He rages against one machine, while hawking another, crappier one. I don’t really care what damage he does. I’m sorry, but this guy just irritates me.

  36. TS and RK
    April 9th, 2008 | 5:03 pm

    Tim Sykes reminds me of Robert Kiyosaki. Both people claim to have made money investing in the past (how much is debatable), and then sell how-to books hawking their strategy to anyone who will listen.
    Both claim to be looking out for the “little guy” when the only person they are looking out for is themselves. These guys make money from promoting crap not from investing.

  37. April 9th, 2008 | 6:00 pm

    1. Anybody who trades based on my theories cuts their losses extremely quickly because they understand a) it’s risky b) patterns evolve and c) the smartest man is one who knows he knows nothing. (the only time I’ve ever lost big is when I ignored my rules…yes I’ve struggled for many years with a discipline problem…as I detail in all my products and every day)

    2. My “scheme” for trading stocks is to short sell fraudulent/”iffy” companies which have been pumped, it’s not ridiculous, it’s the very definition of rational.

    3. Who cares about financial professionals, you guys have kept the public in the dark and have been under performing indexes for years, you’ve made yourselves irrelevant

    4. How will I be losing all my money when I cut my losses quickly and have learned to be conservative? Like the typical Wall Street ANALyst report, your research is lacking.

    5. Of course I make money by promoting my strategy, this is America! Buuuut if you guys actually take the time to visit my site, you’d see I write about my trades before I make them, make plenty of mistakes along the way, detail all my successes AND failures and answer ANY and all questions. This I do for free so you can see I have nothing to hide. I don’t see other “gurus” blogging day in and day out, helping people fully understand their theories, no they are the BS artists, charging $5k hotel seminars.

    6. All my returns are audited, waiting on my fund’s final audit to release everything on my new site which debuts late April.

    I know you guys have been abused for decades by liars, frauds and cheats, imagine for a second a business model based in brutal honesty–all my character flaws, bone-headed mistakes on display at all times…but in the end, thanks to my considerable experience and well thought out strategy, what I teach is of value to many confused investors and traders, 90% of whom are currently losing since they’ve never had anybody willing to lay it all out there, perfectly able to face all critics and fans alike.

  38. B
    April 9th, 2008 | 9:52 pm

    Timmy’s desperate attempts to defend himself on this blog reveal nothing more than his insecurity and lack of expertise. As amusing as it is to bring him in the spotlight and pick him apart, we do so at the risk of giving this guy some sense of importance. Please, let’s just start ignoring him.