Swiss Get Whores

by Johnny Debacle

The Rolling Stones sang about the non-truism “you can’t always get what you want” but Switzerland has found that if you try sometimes, you just might get what you need. Reacting to a dearth of professionals due to strict immigration and labor laws, “Switzerland entered a treaty with the European Union to import workers, seeking more bankers, managers and academics“. Instead, it received “an influx of prostitutes.”

The decision to open the labor market to workers from the EU, adopted in 2000, is part of a series of covenants Switzerland agreed to in exchange for reduced trade barriers with the economic and political union.

The number of people offering sex for money has risen by a third in Zurich and 80 percent in Geneva since Switzerland opened its borders to workers from the 15 EU-member states at the start of 2004, police estimate. Some lawmakers predict prostitution will grow even more after the government last year removed work restrictions for residents from 10 newer EU countries as well.

The influx of sex workers has cut prices for “quickie” sexual intercourse to a range of 30 to 80 francs ($24 to $65) from 150 to 250 francs ($122 to $203), said Adrian Klaus, a social worker with Basta, a support group for prostitutes.

While the Swissies may be chafing at the increase in professionals, the valuable services provided by these workers are exactly what their populace needs and at a cheaper price. Any serious business owner or senior executive knows from experience the ways in which prostitutes keep a workforce running smoothly and increase efficiency.

Recommendation: Never look gift whores in the mouth.

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  1. To The Hilt
    April 9th, 2007 | 1:19 pm

    The Rolling Stones also said:

    “I’m a fleabit peanut monkey
    All my friends are junkies
    That’s not really true

    I’m a cold Italian pizza
    I could use a lemon squeezer
    What you do?

    But I’ve been bit and I’ve been tossed around
    By every she-rat in this town
    Have you, babe?

    Well, I am just a monkey man
    I’m glad you are a monkey woman too”

    Not that that applies here at all, but I just thought you should know.

    Recommendation: Long The Rolling Stones. Short the Beatles.

  2. April 9th, 2007 | 2:11 pm

    This is the best thing I have ever read.

  3. chris
    April 9th, 2007 | 2:31 pm

    Coop – Suggest you read more.

  4. PairOfSox
    April 9th, 2007 | 4:25 pm

    What they really need are hammocks.

  5. Zbignew
    April 9th, 2007 | 4:54 pm

    Best. Reccomendation. Ever.

  6. April 9th, 2007 | 8:31 pm


    I’m with you. Hammocks. But that doesn’t exclude prostitutes too. There are logistically problems making use of them both at the same time, though.

  7. johnei
    April 10th, 2007 | 1:11 pm

    Coop, do you know teh OT?